July-Wedding,California and Cabo

July 31, 2010

What an amazing July it has been- everything from wrapping up 4 months of preparing for a wedding, 3 great days of wedding festivities in Dripping Springs, a trip to California to visit a friend and see everything from gorgeous lakes to San Francisco and then a week of pure rest in Cabo San Lucus with Nina aka translator/travel companion. All have been wonderful memories I will treasure for some time. God knows the things that delight my heart and after a long hard year and a half July has been the best month I have experienced. I love to travel and have needed a break from all the wedding preparations, my responsibilities at work and with my parents.

My trip to Cabo was planned back in January before I knew of the wedding or the 5 hospital stays my parents have had. Again…God knew what I would need before I did. Nina and I loved sitting and looking for hours at the Sea of Cortez. Neither one of us read much and were content just being. My body and soul needed to just rest and I did. One of my top things is life is swimming in the Sea of Cortez…the cool turquoise waves which are pretty big and strong moving my body up and down in the deep water reminded me of my life…I often feel like I am floating in the waves of grief and have no control over when or how hard they hit. I did however feel I had a break this week from the grief. I loved long walks on the white beach and loved the cool ocean mist blowing on my face. In the evenings we would either walk barefoot down to beach to a sea side café or ride the local bus with the natives into town to eat decadent seafood or enjoy the yachts at the marina and music. We frequently slept in and loved having Mexican coffee on our patio that overlooked the water. We made friends with people from different states and countries but most of all we laughed and laughed and then laughed some more. I won’t have to do abdominal exercises for a while as my stomach hurt from all the laughing we did at each other and at ourselves. Nina and I have been friends since high school, have gone to child birth classes together and church, raised 6 kids between the two of us in 29 years and attended more tennis tournaments with our boys than we can count.

My trip let me see how far I have come since I was in Cabo at Christmas. I am in a much better place now and feel God healing my heart. As I say goodbye to July and look ahead to August I have to smile, treasure the memories and once again breathe deep… August 4 will be the first time I will spend an anniversary without Joe. I don’t know what to expect but I will rest in God’s faithfulness and goodness and be thankful for the 30 years and two months we shared, knowing God has good things ahead for my life.

Smiling and reflecting,

Kathleen

Truth and Love

July 22, 2010


I returned from my trip to California at 3:oo am on Wednesday morning. Our plane had to make an emergency landing due to a medical emergency. The lady was sitting next to me when she began to faint. They called for anyone with medical experience. I thought of raising my hand since I had numerous hours in hospitals and doctors offices. Instead I chose to simply pray for the woman and try to comfort her. Another divine appointment…

My trip was a lot of fun and gave me a good break getting away from work and life in Kerrville. The trip was a gift from a friend and was a wonderful blessing. I was able to hike, see San Francisco and rest some. God continues to provide the things I need.

My father had knee surgery on Monday and when I returned I immediately had to help my sister with my parents. With both of them needing an advocate we were pretty busy. We have had to move my mom to a care facility River Hill Rehab and dad is at Sid Peterson. It has been crazy for the past few days….I am still not sure why my life revolves around hospitals and doctors in this season of my life. Today I had to take my mom to the doctor and then go to the hospital to assist my dad with some things. In the nine months Joe has been gone mom and dad have had 5 hospital stays…Didn’t I live in hospitals last year?

I had a dream when I was in California. In the dream Joe was helping me get a rocking chair out of the garage. I was talking to him about getting it ready. I discussed with him having a friend help me recover it. As I pondered the dream and prayed about it I felt like the situation with Joe is/has prepared me for a new life. But I am still in the preparation time for this new life. I don’t have a rocking chair in my house but used one with all my babies. My new life is coming…I am still preparing for it. I also felt like I heard God speak “wait” while I was on my trip. So I will continue to heal, prepare and wait for the unknown…so much has happened in nine months and yet it only seems like yesterday at other times. I am still trying to figure out how to spell “single” much less live it! I have enjoyed several dates but am not ready for another relationship.

Psalms 4o:11 really spoke to me the other day. “may your love and truth always protect me.” Wow! I have never read that before. His incredible love has given me a confidence to walk in many unknown situations fully confidant in Him and unafraid. Sometimes I remind myself that the worst that could happen is I could die and be with Jesus and Joe and how bad could that be? In times when I feel weak in situations I remind myself I have watched tumors grow and suddenly the problem seems small and I know God will show me the way. He consistently reveals truth in situations that I question…the key is simply asking and waiting on Him to reveal truth and not to move unless I feel peace in a situation. Praying for truth to be revealed is a prayer that never fails. So I will continue to daily ask for a fresh revelation of His love and for Him to reveal truth to me.

Preparing and waiting for new life-

Kathleen

Wedding Day

July 15, 2010


My thought for the day is that time flies by. Right after the wedding I left for a little time away to regroup after the wedding so I was quite busy shifting gears and getting ready to leave for California.

Now about the wedding as I know many of you are anxious to hear. The big day began with a “wedding jog”. I was determined to keep up with the 25 year olds but was slower. At least I didn’t faint on the 2 ½ miles trot down the road. The neat thing was I went jogging 30 years ago on my wedding day. After that we had a wonderful bridesmaids luncheon in down town Austin given by two friends that were in my wedding. We had a lot of fun.

We all began to get ready early in the afternoon so we could be ready for pictures which began around 5:15. It was a relaxing afternoon and the bride was calm, cool and collected as the make up and hair lady fixed her all up. Neither one of us shed a tear only laughter and joy as we prepared for the big event. At seven in the evening the music began and I was escorted down the aisle by my two handsome redheaded sons and I was grinning from ear to ear. Next were my adorable nephews and Rob’s niece. And then there was a picture that will forever be tattooed in my memory…with Price on the right, Austin on the left and Mallory in the middle all of my precious children walked down the aisle with tears in each of their eyes. Tears began to roll down my cheeks and most of the people attending the outdoor event looking over a beautiful canyon. The bride was radiant and it was evident that her brothers were honored to give her away. Austin joined his sister’s hand to Rob’s as the minister asked “Who gives this woman to this man?” Austin’s reply was “Her mother and us.” Then Franklin Williamson had the couple repeat their vows…he married Joe and I. The rest of the evening was delightful filled with good food, friends and dancing.

I don’t know for sure but somehow I think Joe had the best view of the evening and was smiling down on all of us. Thanks again from the bottom of my heart to all of you that have prayed us thru the valley and mountains of this journey.

Resting and discovering –

Kathleen

Wedding Rehearsal

July 11, 2010


What can I say about an amazing few wedding days? Mallory and I left Kerrville early Friday morning in two different cars headed for Vista West Ranch in Dripping Springs. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I drove….I should be in the passenger seat talking to her daddy as we drove to our daughters wedding... My tears were mixed with joy at how God had found our daughter a great guy that adored her, grief that her dad wasn’t here to share the event and wonder at how the events would play out. But by the time I arrived the tears were gone and gone for the weekend other than when I saw my two sons escorting their sister and all of my kids crying. Then I lost it but so did most of the 150 people witnessing the event. It was such a fun filled weekend.

Friday when we arrived in the Austin area we began with meeting a couple of bridesmaids for manicures and pedicures and then meeting Rob’s family for lunch. After that we went to get ready for the rehearsal. The rehearsal began a little late but went really well and was followed by a wonderful dinner at Jack Allen’s Kitchen. It was fun visiting with friends and family and roasting and toasting Rob and Mallory.

I will write more tomorrow….I am so exhausted but wanted all of you to know everything went so well and we all had a blast.

Thankful for so much,

Kathleen

Nine Months

July 8, 2010

Nine months have gone by since Joe left earth. In some ways it seems like he has been gone forever. As I worked out at the gym today I had to reflect on where I am now compared to where I was nine months ago. Today I was able to lift twice as much weight with my arms and three times the amount with my legs. I don't know how it happened but I feel I have gotten stronger physically spiritually and emotionally in the last nine months…amazing how that happens when you feel your weakest. I know that is where God comes in and His strength is made perfect when we are the weakest and depend on Him. I had a friend that I had lunch with this week that I hadn’t seen since Joe died and she commented that I wasn’t the same person and had changed in a positive way. That was encouraging. I guess that is where brokenness becomes your friend. I have discovered that embracing pain and letting go are good and I really realize I am nothing without Him and He is all I need. Wow…a hard nine months but they have changed me.

Here we are two days from the wedding. It has been busy busy around here. So many last minute details but it is all coming together. We have had our share of wedding drama----went to pick up the dress yesterday and they said they couldn’t find it…..the lady doing the hair and make up emailed today and said she wasn’t sure she could make it and do all the bridesmaids…..the cake lady didn’t want to deliver the cake and the ring was ready this afternoon…but Mallory and I have been determined to walk in peace and we have. She is doing quite well. My baby girl is all grown up. Another letting go…another life changing event in two days.

I want to thank all of you that have held us up in prayer. I know there would be no way we would have made it without your love, support and prayers. Thank you thank you!

Held by His grace,

Kathleen