New Beginnings- I'm Engaged!

A new life and new adventure

    After nine months of dating, I have to confess that I have fallen in love with a man from Uvalde. There has been a long standing rivalry between Kerrville and Uvalde but somehow, that has not mattered and I have found someone that I've grown to love. We have spent most weekends together since January getting to know each other. The poor guy has had to meet half of Kerrville and get their approval to even go out with me.

Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field

     As I have pondered what I want in the next chapter of my life, it is someone to share the things I enjoy. I'm not trying to build a family and have kids. Those days are over. I want someone that enjoys the outdoors, loves to dance, loves God, sees the bright side of things no matter what and someone that is fun and real. I've found him.

I love my ring!

    He has been very patient with all I have had to do with my parents and my job. There have been many of dates that have been interrupted by crisis with my parents but he just goes with me and supports me while I tend to their needs. Then he holds me...Not many men would do that.

Take me out to the ball park!

Brookes Raley- pitcher for the Cubs

  We had an opportunity to go to Chicago recently and watch the Chicago Cubs play. Stephen played baseball in high school, college and coached many youth in Uvalde. The young man that pitched for the Cubs Saturday was , Brookes Raley, and we were asked by his parents to come watch him as Stephen coached him some. What a fun adventure!
  Stephen has a rental company, construction company and a hunting industry. He reminds me of my dad in some ways because he is a self made man and there is a strength in him that has won my heart. Some people say he reminds them of Joe.
     I have loved the adventure of walking with God as I have learned to navigate dating and finding love again. What a wonderful adventure as I've trusted him with my fragile heart.

Making It Over Another Hurdle

Making It Over Another Hurdle

August 4th would have been my 33 anniversary. This year I will have to say was much easier. I went on a good walk that morning and had time to ponder the history of the day. I will write more about the day in the future and am grateful for the 30 years I had with Joe. This August 4th was different and not near as painful. Yea God!

My summer has been busy with wrapping up 31 years of daily parenting, work, my parents and of course some fun! Price came home for a month to rest and prepare for the workforce. It was nice having him home for a little while before he started his new job in Houston. He likes his new job and has been in a lot of training before he has actually gotten to go on the rig.

My sister, brother-1in-law and nephews came into town for a day recently and we went to Up N Jacks. They wore me out

My dad was in the hospital last week. He called early one morning and said, "Kat, I need you to take me to the emergency room. I have been having chest pains for the last 10 days. Can you come right over?" Let me just say, I am glad he called but seriously, if you were having chest pains would you wait 10 days? The daddy in him still tries to protect me. We have grown close as he too has lost his companion somewhat with my mom not always being able to communicate. In many ways, she is like a 3 year old. Dad and I visit often sharing life and I cherish our conversations. He is a wise man.

 Price came home the next weekend and took me to the shooting range to teach me how to shoot a gun. Can't say I am  a fan but I did alright at target practice. It was quite an experience and too loud for me. My dad, Stephen and his son came with us.

I have been dating a wonderful guy since January. We have a lot of fun together and he makes me laugh. He has been good for me. We've been fishing, dancing, hiking, boating, and on many other adventures.

My latest adventure is that I have been asked to be on the Wild Ride Gospel Hour the 2nd and 4th Sundays of the month from 8-9. They have asked me to speak about my articles in the newspaper. I appeared this past Sunday and enjoyed it. 103.7 FM The Buck  It is a contemporary country western music. I love having the opportunity to  share my faith in an out of the box type of way,   Another newspaper will also feature my articles -The Community Journal, a weekly paper in Kerrville.

God continues to pour his favor and goodness over me cleansing me and giving me a new life. I love Him.

Healing, Promises and Hope For Those Divorced- And  A Heart Check for Christians

Kerrville Daily Times Article 

July 2012

I love hearing from my readers on what touches their hearts, and how God is working in their live. I write every other Friday for the faith section, and two weeks ago, I wrote on promises for widows. After that article, I had a high school friend email me and ask for a specific article to address her needs. It broke my heart as I read her email. Below is a portion of the email that was sent from a wonderful member of our community.

“I loved your article in today’s paper. I don’t always get a chance to read all of your articles, but when I do, you always speak to my heart. I would like to ask if one of your articles would speak to the wife who was abandoned by her husband and forced to face the judgment of being divorced. Not all couples who divorce do so of their own free will, as the state of Texas only requires one person to file and the other the suffer that choice. When I got married, it was until death departed us, but another man was permitted to come along and proclaim us no longer married. Since that day, I have fallen under great judgement by others, and felt totally alone. No one notices me, sees my loneliness, knows my pain or feels I may need help. I know I have not walked alone, as my strength has grown in God, and He has been my only friend, my husband. I did not choose divorce — I was left to suffer the consequences of divorce. I stayed and raised my children alone, I work in my community and I am charitable in my community, I am judged in my community. Please consider an article that focuses on the wife who was abandoned and the promise God has for her. I also am grateful for those that have supported me through my divorce and the days after and realize the blessings I have received.”

As I thought about her request, nothing came to mind, but I did ask God to give me something if that was what He wanted me to write about. I always pray about what to write as I only want Him to use me however he wants.

Tuesday of this week, I returned a phone call to an acquaintance and friend from out of town. We had not visited in several years, but as I listened to all of the things that had transpired in the last several years of her life, again my heart felt deep compassion for this woman. Her words were similar to the woman’s that I quoted above. 

She and her husband were once very active in their local church, had a number of children they homeschooled and our families had gone to church together. I was shocked at the events that had transpired. There had been some traumatic things, illness and loss that shook this Christian family. She too found herself with the divorce label.

When I asked about her church and if she was getting support from them, she too told me of how she was not viewed the same after becoming a divorced woman. 

“I feel like I have a disease, or I am a leper now. I don’t feel valued like I once did when I was married.”

She went on to say that at a time she needed loving arms around her by the church, too felt much judgement. Let me add, this woman is a mighty woman of God, and I felt sick that she had been misunderstood and hadn’t felt loved and valued. I am passionate about helping people discover their value and worth and it makes me mad when people devalue one another. I listened, affirmed her and prayed for restoration. 

The next day, I got a text from coworker that I worked with several years ago. He, too, mentioned that he had recently gotten a divorce and how difficult things were for him and his children. He, too, had been married a long time and didn’t want the divorce. 

Three contacts in one week made me step out on the water to find hope for those whose hearts have been shattered by divorce. I have not been divorced, so I do not speak from experience, but I do know from dealing with many people that have been divorced, a broken heart is a common denominator. Many divorced people I know have stated they feel abandoned emotionally by their mate as well as physically. That is a big blow from the person that has promised to love and cherish you as well as a huge life change. I reflected on encounters I had in the past with divorcees and could see a deficit in my own heart.

I read in Isaiah that God has some promises for those who have suffered from a broken heart and abandonment. Isaiah 60:15 says, “Although you have been forsaken and hated, with no one traveling through, I will make you the everlasting pride and the joy of all generations.” (NIV) When we turn to God for our help, no situation is too big for him to redeem. God sees the injustices suffered and is committed to walking with us to a better place.

Isaiah 60:20 says, “... the Lord will be your everlasting light and your days of sorrow will end.” (NIV) That is a good promise that we can take to the bank! God will lead us through the dark days when the pain of life stings. He promises, when we look to him that our sorrow will end. Yeah, God! He is good!

Isaiah 61 is full of promises and that would take me a whole article to address. There is much I could say, but I will only highlight a few scriptures. I love to speak about this passage, as it is one of my favorites. God proclaims that he will bind up the brokenhearted, comfort those that mourn the loss of someone they love and give us beauty instead of ashes. He also promises in this passage that he will make us strong and take away the shame. You must read this passage for yourself.

Isaiah 62:3 and 4 encourages those of us who have been abandoned by death or divorce that we are still of great value to society and the Lord.

“You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord’s hand a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted or name your land Desolate ... for the Lord takes delight in you.” (NIV)

Divorced friends, God delights in you. You, too, have a special place in his heart and it broke his heart too when you were forsaken. Bad things happen to good people.

I reflected on encounters I had had in the past with divorcees and could see a deficit in my own heart. I should have been more sensitive to their needs. My own experiences as a widow have changed my heart, and that is the good that has come from my personal suffering.

I don’t think people intend to harm those that have experienced divorce, we can just can get wrapped up in our own world and become callused and insensitive to those needing our love and encouragement. Judgement or exclusion wears out the heart.  This adds insult to a heart that is already wounded and trying to heal. Building a new life while your heart is aching is not an easy task. It takes a lot of energy. I know that personally.

We live in days of grace not judgment. God will judge each of us one day, but until then, our job is to extend grace and love to those around us. Love never fails, so why don’t we make sure we are people that major in love? I want to look like love everywhere I go. How about you? Do you need to examine your heart, too? Do you need to wrap your arms around divorcee instead of wondering what they must have done wrong? It’s something to think about. Love never fails.

 Hope For Widows and the Basics of

Christianity

Kerrville Daily Times Article

July 2012

    About six months ago, I got a phone call  about 4 pm from a woman whose world was suddenly turned upside down. “Kathleen, this is Susie,” she stated. “I need your help.” she continued. This friend knew I worked and normally called in the evening to visit, when she called. I knew in my heart that something must be wrong. “Susie, is everything okay?” I asked. “No, Bill is dead. I just got the call he collapsed and he is gone,” she calmly said. “No!” I responded with a loud voice. I did not want anyone to experience the pain I had experienced as a widow. Since that day when my friend called for help, I have had several other acquaintances  that have lost their mate.  I hate it for all of  them and my heart is tender towards them.

     None of us have any guarantees in life. Bad things do happen to good people and it is in our broken places, that God’s love, grace and hope peeks in to see us through the pain of life. In the mean time, we all have our place in history. For some of us, it is to push through with all we have in us to live life again. For others, we have a mandate that are the basics of Christianity to help those that are in distress or hurting.

     If you have lost a mate and are a widow or widower, take heart. There are some wonderful promises in scripture for us. If you have not, you have a wonderful opportunity to be a doer of the Word of God. 

     This is dedicated to all my friends that have become widows or widowers. Take heart. You are dear to the heart of God! It is easy to feel alone, lonely, and wonder where you fit in now that you are no longer married. All these feelings are natural as part of you, is now gone. Scripture says that when we marry, we become one; therefore, when a mate leaves this earth, part of you is missing and thus the journey of discovering your your place in society and your identity single.

     i have come across several scriptures that have held me together and helped me press on in my own journey as a widow. Psalms 68:5 proclaims God’s character and says, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing.” (NIV) The basic nature of God is compassion and for those that find themselves in ashes.  His heart is tender for those that are fatherless, for whatever reason, he will defend the widow and he cares for those that are lonely. God even has a heart for those that are in prison and will lead them to a place of singing if they follow him. Wow! Now that is good news! I have personally seen how God has defended me in situations since I no longer have my husband to protect me and look out for my best interest. Knowing I have a special place in the heart of God gives me great comfort.

     How about you? Are you a defender of widows and the fatherless? Are you being an advocate for them or praying for them? Are you compassionate and offer to help or include them? You are made in the image of God, so that heart is in you. You just need to exercise it.

     Another passage that is a favorite of mine is Psalms 146:9, which says, “The Lord watches over the alien, and sustains the fatherless and widow...” (NIV) When I first read this passage, I looked up the word sustain to find out it’s meaning. Sustain means to prolong, keep up, strengthen or support physically or mentally. There were times I didn’t think I could make it with having the responsibility of everything all alone after 30 years of sharing everything with a partner. It wasn’t that I could not do tasks that my husband did, for me it was balancing everything alone from work, single parenting, finances, caring for my elderly parents, the house, the yard and the trash, just to name a few. I still wish the trash fairy would drop by my house and take the trash out! Sometimes a kind neighbor will bring my trash cans  back to my house as I am not the fastest on the block in bringing them back to the garage. There were days I when I didn’t think I could make it that I would remind God that he promised to sustain the widows. I am still alive and here to tell you it is true. He has sustained me, kept me up, kept me going, and strengthened me.

     Isaiah 1:17 is another promise and reflection of the heart of God. It states, “Seek justice, encourage the  oppressed, Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.” Again we see what God has to say about what is important to him. If it is important to God, it should be important to me. For the widow, you can hang on to how special you are to the heart of God. There have been times I have prayed and asked God to send someone to plead my case and help me. I had a situation recently with my dryer being broken and was having to go thru a lot of red tape to get it fixed as it was under warranty. I asked God for help and  the assistant to the president of the company over saw my case and came to my defense after weeks of waiting. Ask God to raise up those that will defend you.

      With Kerrville being a retirement community, there are plenty that need us to fight for, defend and plead their case. How about you? Do you encourage those that are oppressed by sin, discouraged by circumstances, do what is right in business, help the child whose dad is in prison or parent has abandoned them thru divorce or death? Do you help the widow in your neighborhood or church? Have you even asked what you might do to help in some way? 

     Exodus 22:22 is  another reflection of God’s heart. It proclaims, “Do not take advantage of a widow or orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused and I will kill you.” (NIV) It is a good thing we live by grace and not law anymore! This scripture shows us that God hears the cry of the orphan and the widow. His heart is  particularly soft towards them and is a just God. He does not tolerate treating them unjustly. 

      James 1:27 gets right to the point about what is important in our Christian walk. It says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and  faultless is this; to look after the orphans and widows in their distress...” (NIV) It is just that simple. Sometimes in our busy world, we forget to to the basics of life. We can get caught up in all our ministry goals, busy lives, bible studies, committees etc. and forget what God says is pure and what is right. Whom do you need to help in your church or neighborhood? Is there a foster child, a child without a mom or dad, a widow or widower that needs you to include him or her in your lunch or holiday plans? It is something to think about. Looking after these that are right outside our back door is important.

    Jesus said in the new testament, I have come that you may have life and life to the full. If you are a widow or widower, you have a God given right to live life to the full again. Starting over isn’t easy but God is right there with us to help and guide. I haven’t done everything right, have made mistakes and have certainly had to push thru low days, but I can say God’s grace and forgiveness covers me and helps me. Most of all, He has been faithful every step of the way. Know I am praying for you.

    

     In our retirement community, we are very blessed to have plenty of opportunities to practice the heart of God to the orphans and widows that are down the street, around the corner, in places of business and church.  What about you? Look around and let’s  get busy in the mission field He has placed before us. Will you join me?

 

What Are You Wearing and Happy July 4th!

Happy July 4th! Celebrate Freedom!

Are You Wearing the Right Thing?

Kathleen Maxwell

June 22nd, 2012

Kerrville Daily Times

    A good friend and I were talking the other day and she asked,  “Kathleen, what are you going to wear? “  We were talking about a function we planned to attend together soon, and were working out the major details when that seemingly common question popped up. “I don’t know,” I replied, “I haven’t planned that far ahead.”  Women always ask other women that question  and I feel it is because we don’t want to wear something that is appropriate.

      Personally, I am not someone that plans far ahead. I might think about what I am going to wear for the day as I am fixing my hair and walking to my closet. 

  The day after I was asked the question, I came across a scripture that made me think about that question again. The scripture was, Colossians 3:12, which states, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity.” (NIV)  I love the fact that God thinks of everything. In his wisdom, he even instructs us about what to wear! 

     Scripture shows us that these virtues will always make us look good. Compassion, which is concern for the suffering or misfortune of others, is vital for each of us. How good are you at showing compassion to others, even those you don’t agree with? I recently had someone contact me that had lost someone they loved. There were choices in this person’s life I couldn’t agree with, but my heart went out to this individual because his heart was broken. I had a perfect opportunity to take time and show him the love of God and express concern for his suffering. I wanted to be a safe place for this young adult to express his grief. I know my own personal suffering has developed a greater compassion within me and I am much quicker to wear compassion these days.

     Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous or considerate. Did you realize when you smile, you are being kind to others? Be sure and wear your smile today and watch how it affects those around you. Smiling can actually make you look younger, so if you are middle aged, it is a must wear garment. Being generous is giving more of something than is expected or necessary. Being kind and considerate is being careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to another. I am personally going to make sure I wear this more often as I realize I sometimes forget.

     Humility is a modest view of ones own importance. Everyone looks good when they wear this character trait. Pride is a common thief that works hard to steal our humility. There is nothing wrong with a feeling of satisfaction with an accomplishment. That isn’t pride. It is an accomplishment to earn a degree, win a race, or get a promotion. Wearing humility, enables us to honor others making them feel just as valued and important even above our own accomplishment. All that we have and all that we are is because of God’s grace in our lives. Yes, our choices make a difference but for those that call on God, we must remember that it is Him that enables us. Remembering that fact helps keep me in my place. Sometimes I forget that fact and self righteousness or  pride can strip me of the garment of humility. Scripture says to humble ourselves and God will lift us up. It is up to us to put on the garment of humility.

      Gentleness is a definite fashion statement and looks good even on men. A gentle spirit disarms people. Last year, I spoke at an Annual Women’s Meeting on the subject of gentleness. Since then, I am quicker to pick that dress out more. It has saved me when I have really been tempted to give someone a peace of my mind. Gentleness is not weakness but power under control. We are actually more powerful and accomplish much more when we sensitive and kind. Jesus said, “I am gentle,” therefore, we all need to be more like him.

     Wearing patience means we are able to wait without becoming annoyed; slow to loose ones temper with irritating people. I think our patience needs to be like our jeans...pretty durable.  If we don’t get fresh patience, like fresh socks or underwear each day, we will not only smell bad around others but will actually gag ourselves with tension and anxiety. I speak from experience on this issue. I’ve heard people say not to pray for patience but I actually think we need to pray daily for a fresh supply  or we are the ones that suffer most.

     Forgiveness is like shoes. There are just somethings you have to wear to get thru the day and this is one of them. Otherwise, like patience, we are the ones that suffer. A forgiving heart is a tender heart and is the foundation for getting around well and successfully in life. There is much that can be said on this subject but forgiving others is something we do for ourselves. A person dressed in bitterness is easy to spot by the harsh words that come out of their mouth or scowl on their face. Unforgiveness is like wearing a toxic or sour garment...not good for anyone around.

     Last but not least we are admonished to always wear love. When we put love on, it ties everything together. When we do not clothe ourselves in love, it is like wearing clothes that don’t match or clash. When we wear love, we stand out in a crowd. We are dressed for success all day when we sport love. I want to be known for how well I love others. It is not on my bucket list of things to wear, it is on my must have everyday list. I’ve discovered in my own personal life, love is easier to wear when I spend more time tapping into God’s presence and spending time with Him and getting to know his nature.    

     I know there have been times I have tried on something and it just doesn’t look good on me. The color is wrong, the style is just not me, or the way it is designed or cut makes me look heavier or simply isn’t flattering on me. Why on earth would anyone want to wear something that doesn’t look good? ,I am so glad God shows us how to always be in style and looking our best. He is good and thinks of everything and is always there to help us look good when we choose what he says to wear. How are you dressed today? Will you join me make sure you are dressed right? The choice is yours and mine.