God does not do shame
Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie
July 2018
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“Shame on you,” my grandmother said, as she shook her finger at me, with a scowl on her face. I was about nine or ten years old and those word cut to the core of my being as I stood in her picture perfect kitchen.
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| Our adorable grand kids! |
Our words carry power and what I remember, was I had done something wrong in her eyes and I just wanted to hide. I felt like a mistake and felt her intense displeasure with me. I could not figure out why she would respond like that. I thought she loved me and I had looked forward to going to see her and my grandfather. Now, I just wanted to go home.
I was feeling the power of shame. Shame say, “you are a mistake, instead of “you made mistake, let me help you.”
Shame makes people feel less than and devalued. Jesus paid a great price so we could be free from shame.
Whenever we have done something wrong, the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin. His purpose is to bring us to repentance, not shame. In His great love, Jesus paid the price so we do not have to live in shame.
Romans 10:11 states, “For scripture says, Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame. (NIV)
When we realize we have made a little mistake or a huge one, God’s heart is that we recognize it, ask his forgiveness and the forgiveness of others if necessary, and walk in freedom. Jesus paid the price for our freedom.
Ephesians 1:7 tells us, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”
Acts 13:38 states, “Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.” (NIV)
Once we repent, we can walk free of shame. God sent Jesus to take care of shame for us. Yes, we may struggle to walk free of the feelings of disgrace, but in God’s eyes we are loved and accepted.
Hebrews 4:16 instructs us, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (NIV)
God’s grace and forgiveness are an incredible gift that each of us have an opportunity to enjoy. It begins with asking Jesus into our hearts, confessing our sin, and believing he died for us and loves us. That is the simple part. Practicing our new life in Christ, enjoying freedom from past mistakes, is where the work comes in, as our culture seems to like to judge.
We have all done things we regret or that are embarrassing at some time or another in our lives.So why do people try to put shame on others when they have missed the mark and done something wrong? I think there are two reasons. Judgement and pride. And both of those are not part of a Christian’s our job description.
Often times people look at their sin and compare it to someone else and say, “I did this but I didn’t do something that bad.” Statements like this are rooted in judgement and pride.
Matthew 7: 1 & 2 warns us, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (NIV)
Proverbs 16:18 tells us, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Our own foolish pride can get us in trouble.
When we walk with God, we are to hate the sin, but love the sinner. That is what Jesus does. Sin separates us from God and Jesus came to bridge that gap so we can have relationship with a God that loves us and forgives us.
I had to forgive my grandmother for the hurtful words she said many years ago. I later found out, she was a very wounded woman and because of her wounds and her own failures and shame, she projected that on me and others.
If you have shamed someone, I encourage you to ask for forgiveness. If you have been someone that has been on the end of receiving shame, I pray healing for your heart and for any lies you have believed about being a mistake, to be erased. Remember to forgive those that have shamed you.
If you have judged others or walked in pride, ask God to forgive you.
I Corinthians 13 reminds us that, “love covers a multitude of sin.”
All of us mess up and can be embarrassed of our failures. Christ came to set us free, so get back up, and walk in his grace and forgiveness. You do not have to walk in shame any longer. God sees you, he loves you, he forgives you and he loves to restore the broken pieces of your life.
