The Power of Gentleness

A number of years ago, I was asked to speak to a lady’s group in Comfort. Sometimes the organization has a particular topic or theme, and other times, they let me choose my message. In this situation, the topic was chosen. “Kathleen, we are studying the fruit of the spirit from the passage in Galatians 5:22,” the organizer of the event stated. “We want you to talk about gentleness.” “OK,” I reluctantly replied, as I did not see gentleness as a strong quality in my life. I personally felt more like a bull in a china closet than a gentle person; however, I knew God wanted to teach me some things about gentleness. Since that day 12 years ago, I’ve learned that gentleness is powerful, and I’ve learned to practice it. Gentleness is defined as being kind or tender, not harsh or severe. As a verb, it means calm. Gentleness is powerful humility. It means you are sweet-spirited and tenderhearted. When I think about people who have this character quality mastered, my heart is open to them. I feel loved and valued. I want to hear what they have to say. Gentleness opens the door to many possibilities. Gentleness is an attribute of Jesus. Matthew 11:29 (NIV) reads, “Come unto me all who are weary and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you for I am gentle and humble in heart.” Jesus was the mightiest man around, and yet, he describes himself as gentle and says gentleness is part of his identity. Scripture tells us we are made in his image. Gentleness is in all of us, and we can choose to practice it. When I partner with Jesus, or am yoked with him, gentleness provides rest for my heart. If you are running around uptight, stressed out, you might want to try practicing your gentleness. Gentleness is not weakness. It is strength under control. It is easy to get aggravated with someone because they do not see eye to eye with you. Anyone can be angry and tell someone off. That isn’t the way God treats us. When we choose to respond in gentleness, we demonstrate strength. One day, I was helping a client with a situation with her rent. I was trying to teach her to face her responsibility not run from it. I coached her on how to call her landlord, explain the problem and her plan to rectify the situation. She left my office to make the call, and the next thing I knew, she came barging into my workspace with big eyes, and I could hear someone yelling over the phone. It was the landlord, and she was angry. I asked to speak to the landlord. I identified myself, and the woman raised her voice at me. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind; however, I remembered what I had been learning about gentleness and decided to practice it. I listened for a while, lowered my voice several decimals below her voice and began to speak to her. When I did this, instead of raising my voice to match hers, the woman began to lower her voice a little. The next time I spoke, I got even quieter. She began to calm down, we had a good discussion, and my client got exactly what she needed. Gentleness demonstrates strength and combats harshness and anger. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) reads, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” I have found gentleness is a good offensive and defensive weapon in times of conflict. My husband and I are both pretty strong-willed people, and when we have a disagreement, I try practicing my gentleness. Fortunately, he is not the kind of man to yell, but in times of conflict, when I choose gentleness, it helps us come into agreement quicker. If you want to win a disagreement, you might try gentleness. Philippians 4:5 (NIV) reads, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” I have learned gentleness can quickly defuse tense situations and disarm people. It makes people feel valued, and it looks good on us when we practice it and wear it. I challenge you to join me in practicing gentleness.

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, a writer, author, podcaster, and speaker. Contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. You can also purchase her book, “Thriving Through Seasons of Grief,” or listen to her podcast on her website, www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.