Kerrville Daily Times Article
April 27th,2012
by Kathleen Maxwell

                                                     Transition

I had a lady come up and introduce herself to me this past week and stated that she read my articles and sent them to her sister in Oklahoma. 

She told me how her sister had lost her husband a few years ago, and was still adjusting to being a widow. As I talked to her, I encouraged her that the process of transition  her sister is going through takes a lot of work. When you loose a spouse, you are never the same. You basically have to reinvent yourself, which takes a lot of energy. It is a transition from being one with someone to being an individual. Instantly, you are legally considered single, but the heart of anyone that has lost a mate is in a huge transition. The transition from being in a partnership to being a sole proprietor of your life is an adjustment and a huge change. I speak from experience.

What is transition? What does the word mean? Who likes transition? How do you navigate through seasons of transition? These are questions that I pondered this past week. Transition is defined as movement or passage from one state or stage to another; the process or a period of changing. The Latin root of trans means across, beyond, on the other side.

Actually, there is a lot the Bible has to say about transition. I have come to discover that God is a real fan of transition. Maybe one day I will share his viewpoint, but I have to confess, I am not there yet. Even the thought of transition makes me tired.           

I have encountered a lot of transition the last few years of my life. Maybe you might identify with some of them. My last child left the nest and went to college, a change from children at home for 26 years to an empty nest; a healthy husband who was living a full life to a husband with cancer; having a spouse for 30 years to loosing a mate; resigning from a ministry and job that was dear to my heart to rest and care for elderly parents; beginning a new job, adjusting to a new organization and then a few months later taking a new position within the organization. It is interesting that I work for nonprofit, BCFS HHS Kerrville Transition Center. We help at-risk young adults transition from being teenagers to productive adults in society. Of course, I would work for a transition center, I feel like the queen of transition. 

Transition is the process of exchanging our past for our future. I’ve only recently come to this conclusion as I have tried to look for the good in the uncertainty transition brings. Transition is letting go of the past, honoring what has been, and living in the “now” and the “not yet.” I have often used the phrase, “I don’t know yet” because I have been in so much transition and that is the best answer I can sometimes give. People with a healthy outlook on transition look at the possibilities ahead versus always looking at what could have been.

Philippians 3:12-15 addresses this better than I can. It says, “Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet. One thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward  to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude …” (NIV) Perfect in this passage means mature. Paul shows us how to go through transition. We must keep our eyes on what is ahead instead of what is behind. If our mind is only dwelling on what could have been or the past, there can be no momentum to move ahead. Isaiah 43:18-19 says, “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder the things of the past. Behold I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?” (NIV)

Transition is not a place of comfort. It is a place of uncomfortableness, just ask any woman who has been through childbirth. Transition in childbirth is the last stage before the birth process. It was painful for me, and I am glad those days are over. 

Think about the transition a caterpillar goes through before it becomes a butterfly. The cocoon stage isn’t that pretty and doesn’t even look hopeful, but the process produces something beautiful — a new life of freedom. 

Think about adolescents. They are young people that are moving from childhood into being adults. It is a difficult time and yet an exciting one.

The promise we have for those of us that trust in God is that God will help us and goes ahead of us in our transition. 

Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” 

As we reach for what is ahead, we must trust in God. That is where the rubber meets the road and our faith is exercised. Do you need to exercise your faith? Is there risk in transition? Absolutely. The good news is God is with us to catch us and help us. I recently did a ropes course and was challenged to do something I had never done before. Did I catch the bar? No, but I reached for something beyond what I could do myself and had the experience of trusting. I am still alive, and I actually had fun!

Although God is all about us changing, He never changes. He is constant in his love for us and in his nature. We can rest in His love when we are in times of transition. His love is our security blanket. We must connect ourselves to God’s heart for our future and our destiny. That gives me hope.

Are you going through one of life’s transitions? How does it make you feel vulnerable? You are not alone. I challenge you to embrace the transition you are in, learn from it and let the change make you into something beautiful. As you change, you will grow and become the man or woman God intended. Rock and roll with transition.

Please contact me!

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, educator, writer and speaker. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God and their value. You can contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com and on her blog www.themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com.

The other day I was feeling overwhelmed as I found myself in another transition in my life. Realizing that I really did not have the time to entertain overwhelming thoughts, I began to sing a song to myself. As I turned my focus to this simple song and the Lord, peace began to settle over me and calm my heart. I was amazed at how quick peace came. The situation hadn’t changed in anyway; my heart was just in a better place than it was 5 minutes prior to singing.

     As I later reflected on that day and how quickly singing/humming made a difference, I was reminded of how I sang to my children when they were little. For centuries, mothers have sung to their babies to calm them and put them to bed. It is not the quality of the voice that matters. There is just something about a simple melody that can calm and comfort.

     Psalms 63:7 says, “Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.” David, in the book of Psalms, knew the power of singing to the Lord. He was a man that knew where to find comfort and strength for his soul. David sat for hours in the field and practice his singing before the crowd of sheep he tended to. Singing was a protection for his heart as well as a safe way to pour out his emotions. It is profound and yet amazing to me how this simple redheaded boy grew to be a mighty man of God with  a song and simply being in God’s presence. It was in deep worship, that David became the man God intended for him to become.

     When my late husband was battling cancer, I would sing as I walked thru the halls of MD Anderson. With his life threatened, I knew I had to give all I had to help him live. The days there were very long and very unpredictable. The news was often times not what I wanted to hear. Singing kept me steady and kept me peaceful while my world shook.  I discovered as I was walking thru the “valley of the shadow of death, “ that singing was a powerful weapon when we use it. With my dreams threatened and my world shaking, I had to hang on to something. I sang songs with words like, “When everything falls apart, your arms hold me together.” I sang songs like, “You make everything glorious” to remind myself that no matter what, God would make it glorious again. I constantly had to remind myself of the truth as I navigated thru the uncharted, dangerous waters in my life.

     I remember one day we arrived at the MD Anderson Emergency Room and all 40+ beds were occupied. Each person that occupied a room was in a pretty critical state. Joe was put in the hallway. He was in a great deal of pain and struggling with the pressure of the tumors. Doctors and nurses quickly moved from room to room trying to help their patients. There was so much commotion that I thought for a minute I was at Grand Central Station. Family members were in distress, patients were in pain, doctors and nurses were over worked and there wasn’t much relief in sight. Joe’s pain increased and although he was tough as a boot, I could see he was struggling a lot. Desperate to help the man I loved, I began to sing.  I don’t sing well, but I knew singing would help bring the presence of God into the situation. I began to sing a song to comfort myself and Joe.

     The words were, “I believe always, always, my Savior never fails. Even when all hope is gone, God still remains,he’s still the same. He will be with you always, always.” I sang this song softly over and over like a broken record  but loud enough that my husband could hear. As I sang, a settling unbelievable calm came over him and he began to rest. There is power in worship and I believe the most beautiful sound to God is hearing his kids sing in the midsts of a storm. When we worship God in our pain it is called lamentation.

     Lamentation is a sweet sound to God. It is praising God anyway. Lamentation is an honest expression of our pain and grief and emotions. It is praising God even in the uncertainty and pain of life. Lamenting says, circumstances don’t matter, I am praising God anyway. It is an expression of our heartache and yet singing irregardless of our circumstances. Habakkuh 3:17 says, “ Though the fig does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” Do you worship God in the YET? Do you sing anyway when times are difficult or overwhelming? There is power in singing in the dark times as it brings comfort, clarity of mind and peace for our troubled hearts. The rest of that passage tells the benefits of singing in the YETS of life. Habakkuk 3:19 says, “The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.” Worship helps us go beyond ourselves. It gives us strength. It empowers us. It gives us an upgrade, like moving from economy seating to first class.

     I challenge you to get a song. The quality of your singing doesn’t matter. Scripture says in Psalm 98:4, “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the earth; make a loud noise and sing praises to his name.” Therefore, it doesn’t matter what you sound like. That’s good news for someone like me that doesn’t sing well! What matters is that you just do it. Start with something simple like, “Jesus loves me this I know.” That simple song has wrapped my heart in a blanket of peace many a time. I may not know how to solve the problem, but I know that I am loved. I know God is stronger than whatever I face and I know whatever I am facing, I am not facing it alone. There is power in singing. What I find, is singing changes my countenance. It makes me look good! It is refreshing.

     I challenge you to get a song. Sing it. Hum it. It will change your heart, it will change your thinking. Singing magnifies God instead of our situation. Whatever your circumstances, singing is the answer. If things are good, by all means, sing to God and praise him. If things are not good, it is even a better reason to sing to pour out your pain and emotions to the one person that truly understands and can help. Besides, it may not change your circumstances, but it will change you. Will you join me in singing? The hills could come alive with the sound of our music. God is worthy of our worship all the time and as they hymn say, “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.” And so can you.

 Spring has arrived and I love the beautiful wild flowers. I have gotten a little behind in my writing as I have been at a training this week for my work.The organization I work for are first responders when there is a national crisis. All of the management staff are trained in Incident Command Systems and are prepared to respond. I tried to tell them that I was experienced in crisis management but they said I still had to be certified. It is something we do in addition to our regular job. Needless to say, there was lots of studying and a pretty busy week for me. Life is certainly an adventure!

 How Do You See? With Compassion or Judgement?
Kerrville Daily Times Article
Kathleen Maxwell
March 15,2012

How do you see others? Do you see their faults instead of the good in them? Are you quick to see someone and make a judgement about them and their situation verses asking God how he sees them? If so, you might need to take another look, perhaps consider some new spiritual glasses and seeing with the eyes of God.

I have recently been studying the passage in I Samuel 1 as part of a class. It has challenged and encouraged me. I Samuel is about Hannah, her husband, Elkanah, Eli the priest and Pininnah-Elkanah’s other wife. To set the stage, if you haven’t heard the story, Pininnah had many sons and Hannah had none. Yearly, they made a trip to worship and make a sacrifice. I Samuel 1:5 says, “But to Hannah, Elkanah gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb.” (NIV) What stood out to me is that Hannah was dearly loved and her husband had great compassion for her. He didn’t love her for what she could give to him, he simply loved her. This is a good thing for any husband to consider. I had a man that loved me well for 30 years before he passed away and I will certainly not settle for anything less in the future.

Notice from the scripture that God closed Hannah’s womb. God, in his great wisdom, had not allowed Hannah to conceive. For some reason, this was His design for her — He had called her to a special task. He doesn’t state why. “Why?” is not the key question, “what?” is a much better question. The question I have learned to ask is “What can I learn from this situation, God?” instead of “Why me?” I recently felt God say to me personally when I was questioning Him about something in my life, “Kathleen, when I design something, it is beautiful because I designed it.” Case closed. He is God and I am not. My opinion needed to change, not his.

I Samuel 1:6 says, “And because the Lord had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year.”(NIV) Pininnah was giving Hannah more grief than she already had. Hannah was already struggling with her identity as a woman, the grief of infertility and then the other woman rubs it in her face. Perhaps you have someone in your life like that? I know I have struggled in my own grief at times and had people unknowingly (at least I choose to believe they were not intentional) add more pain to my plate. Pininnah was what I call Hannah’s grace grower. Hannah had a choice in how to react to her rival. Hannah’s name actually means “gracious.” I believe Hannah did not react in her flesh, but allowed her grace grower to make her more gracious. Hannah used her problem to develop her character.

We can all learn from this example.

When I am gone from this earth, I want to be known as a woman that loved others well. I have a personal value statement that is, “I am what I love, not what loves me.” It is a decision that I have made that defines me. I have grace growers, also known as irritating people in my life, and sometimes I have to preach to myself and say, “ Kathleen, you gotta love ‘um.” It is my way of reminding myself that any other behavior is not acceptable for me. 

I have also been known to ask God “just give me five minutes in the flesh and I could handle this.” He never gives me permission which is a good thing as I am sure I would regret it.

I Samuel 1:10 says, “In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.” (NIV) Hannah went to the temple to pour out her grief to the Lord. She made a wise choice to go to church and worship in her grief, however, her grief was misinterpreted. The religious leader didn’t see what God saw. Eli made a quick judgement, thought Hannah wasn’t in her right mind and thought she was drunk. At a time when she needed comfort and encouragement he totally misunderstood the anguish of her soul. In Eli’s defense, how could he understand the pain of a woman’s barrenness? On the other hand, there are people that come to church, searching for help to get through another day.  This is a good reminder to all of us to ask God, “How do you see this person, and how can I encourage them?” Everyone needs understanding and encouragement.

Hannah responds to Eli’s accusation with, “Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of the great anguish and grief.” Not only was she heart sick that she couldn’t have a baby but she was also being tormented by her rival.  Eli had no idea what was really going on in her life and misunderstood her. His judgement made her feel worthless when she was already struggling with her identity as a woman.  This had to feel like an insult to injury as Eli was someone in the church she trusted. We must not make a judgement about what we see on the outside.

I believe God is calling all of us to a higher standard of stepping back in our spirit and asking God how he sees someone instead of making a quick assumption with our natural eye and out of our limited experience. What Hannah really needed was encouragement and compassion. I know that sometimes in my hurried life, I have been guilty of making a judgement from a snapshot of someone and giving a quick statement when I should have asked God what I could say to encourage and comfort someone. Jesus was moved with compassion. When we see someone with the eyes of God we see them with affection, we see the best in them and see them through the eyes of love.

Our community is a retirement community, and we have many widows and widowers. It is imperative that we comfort and encourage  those that have lost someone they love as they attempt to make a new life and redefine themselves as single individuals. As a widow of two years, I have had people comfort me and encourage me to pick up the pieces of my life. I am forever grateful for those friends.  Like Hannah, I have also felt at times my grief has been misunderstood by those that have not experienced the loss of a mate or the depth of my personal anguish. The misunderstanding has added more pain for me to dig through at a time when I really didn’t need anymore pain. 

We must first see ourselves as God sees us before we can see others as God sees them. When we see as He sees, we give people the power to become better people. We see the treasure in them instead of what is worthless in them. Imagine how different our community would be if we saw and treated people like God. The Hill Country would be amazing. 

Will you repent today of making a quick snapshot judgement of others and ask God to reveal truth to you? Will you join me in looking for those you can comfort and encourage instead of misunderstanding them and judging them? I can’t wait to see what  Kerrville will become. It will be amazing!

Never Give Up On God Because He Never Gives Up On You

March 30th 2012

Kathleen Maxwell 

Kerrville Daily Times

It was 5:45 p.m., and I had just finished a long but good day at work. I walked into the gym to workout and wondered if I had enough energy to exercise. I met another widow as I entered the gym, and we visited and laughed about how we were both stumbling along trying to figure out how two middle aged women that had been married all our lives were to live single. We were both determined to go on and live life to its fullest. We were determined we would not give up, we would just laugh as we discovered new adventures where we found ourselves in life.

As I began exercising, a gentleman walked by wearing a T-shirt that said, “Never give up.” God had spoken those words to me years ago when I was about to tell a client she had exhausted all the grace I had. “That was it; she was dismissed from participating in the program,” I thought. As I drove to her house and prayed, I felt God’s presence invade my vehicle and God firmly spoke to me and said, “Kathleen, never give up on people because I don’t.” I knew that if I did what I wanted to do, it would be contrary to what God wanted for this woman. I obeyed God and extended mercy and grace, with firm boundaries to this young woman. I treated her with love and respect. I am happy to say that years later she is highly successful and living a Godly life. That experience taught me a valuable lesson that I live by today.

The words, “never give up” on the man’s shirt reminded me of how God never gives up on us. He never stops loving us or believing the best about us. That simple T-shirt reminded me of the scripture in I Corinthians 13:8 which says, “Love never fails.” (NIV)

It reminded me of how God loves us so much He gave his only son, Jesus, for us. God let go of what was dear to Him so we could enjoy life abundantly no matter what. The beauty of the Easter story is that Jesus never gave up on God. Jesus’s love for his Father never wavered, even as he hung dying. I am sure he didn’t understand, because how on earth could a good father allow such a thing? Loving isn’t always easy, but it never fails.

I Corinthians 13 is known as the love chapter in the Bible and talks about real genuine love for others and how we are to love. I’ve recently been studying this passage and have been challenged. I won’t quote the passage but if I were a Bible translator, which I am not, I would translate it like this:

If I am a wonderful, eloquent speaker but do not speak with kindness and a heart of love, I miss the drum beat and all my notes are sharp and flat.

If I am smart, educated and can see into the future; and if I believe in God so much I can move Mount Everest, but do not daily love others, well, I might as well go back to bed and forget the day.

If I am generous and good at giving to the poor, if I sacrifice my body for others but don’t do it with the right motive, I have wasted my time and money.

Real love never gets in a hurry, it waits and doesn’t push others.

Selfless love is gentle and looks for what it can give; mature love makes others feel more important than oneself. It makes others feel valuable, important and wanted. It does not have a high opinion of oneself. A person walking in love walks in humility.

Loving like Jesus is not sarcastic and does not put others down. It always looks for the best in others and sees what is good about them, getting angry is the exception, not the rule. Love does not keep remembering when others hurt them. It makes a conscious effort to put the hurt and bad memories behind them.

Love does not go around telling of others failures, it covers their failures. Love tells the truth.

Love does not ever quit. It believes and looks for the best in others, love always has hope for others and restoration. It endures the roughest seas and the hottest deserts to make the relationship a good one.

Loving will help you win the race every time. You can lose your ability to do your talent, you can forget the things you studied for years.

We can all learn, none of us know everything. We need each other, like it or not.

When I was young, I could get by with being immature, unforgiving and mad at others but it is time to grow up. It is time to put your big girl panties on and deal with your excuses for not loving well.

At the end of the day, three things hang around, faith, hope and love. But you will be a winner in the eyes of God when you walk in love. Love is all that matters.

After studying this familiar passage for a couple of weeks, what hit me was the enormous power of love. What scares me is how much God values love and the responsibility I have to always walk in it. I was challenged by the purity of God’s love for me and the fact that it is constant. I had to look at how pure my love was for others. God’s love never stops. There is so much about God’s love I have yet to discover.

Real love for another takes sacrifice, it isn’t easy, but it is worth it. I challenge you to read I Corinthians 13 daily for a few weeks and let the words wash over you and speak to you. Ask God what He wants to speak to your heart about His love for you and how you are to love those around you.

God and Jesus both demonstrated their love for us in the Easter story. Love, forgiveness and overcoming are the basic message in Christ’s death and resurrection. Before his death, Jesus was asked a question in Matthew 22:36-39, “Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment and the second is like it ­— love your neighbor as yourself.”

All of us will die one day. What will really matter to God and others, is how we loved. Do you love God with all your heart? Do you love others well or do you need to keep practicing? Do you daily tell God you love him and daily tell others you love them with your actions and words? I think pride is often what keeps us from telling others and God we love them.

I challenge you to open your heart to more of God’s love for you. I challenge you to daily tell God you love Him. He wants to hear those words from you. I challenge you to join me in daily telling those around you that you love them. They need to hear it. We all do. Never give up on loving others because God never gave up on you.

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, educator, writer and speaker. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God and their value. You can contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com and on her blog www.themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com

Living In Transition

Going Away Party- some of my kids

     The past few weeks have been very fast and amazing for me. I finished my time with BCFS Health and Human Services YouthBuild and said goodbye to the kids I had learned to love so much. It has been neat to see  many of them obtain their GED and get jobs. As the Education and Career Specialist, I coordinated GED registration, job shadowing, jobs for them as well as doing anything a mother would do. The kids all called me Mama Max. I really was just their cheerleader.
     I have worked some very long hours wrapping up my duties with being in the middle of GED testing and kids getting jobs. Our students are now working with local businesses like Wells Fargo, JMLowe Construction, Subway, Fox Tank and more. I am so proud of all of them!
  They gave me a going away party that was real sweet. I had numerous opportunities to pray with these young people at different times as God opened doors. Although I will be in another department at the same company, they have instructed me to keep connected with the kids as it is so important when trust is built, to still be that stable trusted connection in their lives. They don't need another person walking out of their lives. I totally agree and will stay connected. Relationships  and communication are key to the success of any organization or ministry.

YouthBuild helps Mama Max with her new furniture

New Office

     My new position as Development Officer has challenged me as I have had many new things to learn. Transition seems to be where I am living but I have convinced myself that constant change keeps me growing. My first week took me out of town to BCFS HHS Lubbock Transition Center to meet the staff and learn about their programs. This week I went to Abilene Transition Center and met the staff and helped host a coffee with influential women in the community. It is exciting to be a part of an organization that reaches out to at risk youth and orphans of communities to help any young adult 16-25 transition into  the adult world.  My job will be raising community awareness of the services offered, developing support thru in- kind donations,  coordinating fundraising events and recruiting volunteers. I am excited about the opportunities ahead.

My beautiful daughter

     I have also gotten a chance to have a little rest the past few weekends. I have done some fun things with friends and family. I have actually been gone 9 days in the past few weeks between work and weekend trips. Last weekend, Mallory and Rob came in for less than 24 hours but it was so good to see them. Price came in from a Spring Break trip to Florida and then left for the Texas coast. Don't ask me to explain it... I love my time with my kids.  Mallory looked at the back yard and said, "Mom, dad would not like all those thistles in the back yard." She was right, but I can only do so much. Joe was meticulous about his yard. She and Rob pulled weeds while I cooked lunch.  We all miss the life we had with Joe but keep pressing thru the waves of grief.
     I also had my dad in the emergency room  and in the cardiologist office with congestive heart failure. He has been retaining water. Mother has had some falls recently but I am convinced they both have well over 9 lives.

     This week I felt God tell me my life was just beginning. I feel that I am stepping into my new life in more ways than one. I am not sure what it looks like yet but I feel it coming. Spring has come. It has been a long haul, but God has been faithful each step of the way. Yea God!