Serving the right fruit brings restoration

Picking the right fruit to serve brings restoration • Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie • March 2023 copyright

Several years ago, I sat on my back porch watching a roadrunner zip by and baby bunnies hop across the field. I pondered my problem and began talking to God about it. He is never too busy to visit with me and is my helper in times of trouble. Psalms 46:1(NIV) says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Running to him is always the best thing to do. I usually let things roll off my back, but a recent event with someone left me a little bruised and upset. “Lord, you saw what happened,” I softly said to God. “And it hurt my feelings God,” I continued. Just as I uttered the words, I remembered a statement I heard years ago.” You don’t have a right to be hurt, you have a right to be healed.” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I felt misunderstood and I wanted to nurse my hurt a little before I really turned it over to Jesus for healing. I contemplated hanging on to my hurt and offenses for a little while, but as I’ve matured in life and my walk with the Lord, I know that is not the best thing for me or the situation. Galatians 5:22 says, “For the fruit of the Spirit, is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law.” We put ourselves in a win-win situation when we practice these attributes and give them to people. And let me just say, it takes lots of practice. The fruit of the Spirit is how God wants us to live. He has given them to us to govern our lives and when we live in them; we stay in step with Him. Most of all, I feel God wants us to give them away to others to touch their lives. I felt God ask me, “Kathleen, what fruit do you need to serve in this situation?” Once again, I took a deep sigh. … I wasn’t sure I wanted to serve anything to anybody, but I quickly let go of that thought as I thought of God’s patience with me and his kindness and love. “Well God, it needs love; I can be loving like you.” I muttered, still struggling. “I can serve patience because you have been patient with me, and I can give self-control even though I do not feel like it,” I continued to pray. “Change my heart God.” I began to ask God to help me to love like he does, pour patience over the situation and to exercise self-control instead of doing what I felt like or wanted to do. Everything in our lives is about us being conformed and changed into the image of God. He uses everything in our lives, the good things and the hard things. I also realized I could serve some gentleness in my approach to this person and that could defuse defensiveness and create a pathway for communication and restoration. Step one in tough and difficult situations is always to get my heart right in situations. When I lay down my right to be right and ask God to help me see things from his perspective, forward steps toward restoration are always made. Do you examine your heart in situations and ask God where it needs to change? Not long after my conversation with God, I arranged to meet this person, as it is usually better to address situations soon so walls do not build between the two of you. “God give me your heart and give me your grace and power to serve the fruit of your spirit and say healing words,” I prayed. As we met, I gently stated my love for the person, my desire for restoration and wanted to hear their perspective. I saw the situation begin to change. I saw where I needed to be more patient and let God work on the situation instead of me. As I served with self-control, kindness and love, things changed and there was a beautiful restoration. What fruit do you need to serve to others around you? Do you need to lay down your right to be right? Which fruit do you need to practice? God is right there to help you, to change you and your conflict or tough situation. I challenge you to pick a fruit and get busy practicing and serving it to those around you. You will be glad you did and so will those around you.

Kathleen Maxwell is a Hill Country native, a writer, speaker and podcaster. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God. Contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. For information, articles, podcast or to purchase her book, “Thriving Through Seasons of Grief,” visit www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

Dealing with fear of the unknown

Dealing with fear of the unknown Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie Feb 19, 2023 0

The longer I walk with God, the more I realize I need a fresh revelation of his love for me in challenging times. Most of us could use an upgrade when it comes to comprehending God’s love for us. Scripture is clear about the connection between the love of God and fear. I John 4:18 (NIV) says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” The more we live in an understanding of how radically loved we are, the more confident and secure we are. Fear torments and is like punishment. God’s heart for us as his kids is to be free to enjoy life and live secure in his love. I feel it is imperative that we treat fear as a robber or thief instead of a house guest. I was the queen of excuses, guarding the fears, thinking they were normal. After studying I John 4:18, when I feel fearful, timid or hesitant, I ask God for a greater revelation of his love for me. One of the biggest fears many struggle with is the fear of the unknown. It often paralyzes people and keeps us stuck and from living a life of faith. In reality, life is full of the unknown. Many times, we want a guarantee before we step into the unknown, but the only thing we can really rely on in life is the love of God and the fact that he promises to be with us. I learned this when my mother was stricken with a debilitating rare disease, and I was tormented by the unknown and the fear of losing her. One of the blessings of her illness was that I learned a very valuable life lesson: God is always with me, and he loves me. He was with me in one of my darkest valleys, and I lived Psalms 23:4 (NIV): “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” I felt his hand steady me, guide me and comfort me, and it is part of the fabric of my being, not just a scripture. We are in uncertain times with inflation, shootings and many other things, but I can tell you with all confidence, God is with us to guide us, if we partner with him. We will never face a situation without the presence and care of God. It is up to us to hold his hand, seek him and magnify God, more than our situations. Our confidence must be in his presence, love and trust in him. Hebrews 10:35 (NIV) says, “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.” As we conquer our fears, it helps others walk out of their fears. Overcoming your own fear is not just about you, but also about those God wants you to impact. We must see the bigger picture in overcoming our fears. As we walk in these days of uncertainty, remember Psalms 112:7 (NIV): “They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” Ask God for a greater understanding of his love for you and tell fear and panic they are not your friends. Rest in his love and presence, hang on to your confidence and trust him.

Kathleen Maxwell is a Hill Country native, a writer, speaker and podcaster. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God. Contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. For information, articles, podcast or to purchase her book, “Thriving Through Seasons of Grief,” visit www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

7 tips to manage holiday grief

7 Tips for managing grief during the holidays by Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie copyright 2022 The holidays can be stressful for anyone, but when you’ve lost someone you love, they can be particularly challenging, because so many memories are tied to holidays. I speak from experience, as someone who was widowed at 49 and lost both of my parents shortly after losing my late husband. Here are some of my tips that helped me through the painful holidays and brought healing and wholeness to my heart: Tip No. 1: Embrace the pain. Holiday memories can bring the grief and emotions we have swept under the carpet to the surface. These memories can be painful, but let me encourage you to embrace the pain. Embracing the pain instead of denying it means we are honest with ourselves and can begin to move forward. We live in a society where many people don’t want to admit their hurt and appear to have it all together. I found that, in our great pain and honesty, Jesus meets us to bind up our broken hearts. Cry and embrace the pain. Jesus understands, and he cried when Lazarus died in John 11:35. God promises to heal our pain in Psalms 147:3 (NIV), which reads, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds:” Tip No. 2: Remember,you are never alone. In my dark days of grief, the Christmas season was difficult, because I just did not feel like celebrating. The man that I had spent the majority of my holidays with, the person who made them special and fun, was gone. That year, as well as the years that followed, all I could celebrate was that God was with me, and that was worth celebrating. Matthew 1:23 tells us, “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel,” which means “God with us.” Celebrate that you are never alone. Tip No. 3: Rest. The holidays are challenging when you are grieving, because you are exhausted. Emotional pain wears you out. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to rest. I had to “ground myself” because I just could not move at the same pace I normally could. I learned that rest was a weapon, and I had to use it to be the best version of myself. Tip No. 4: Create new memories. Normal as you know it is gone. This was a hard pill for me to swallow, but it was a fact. That first Christmas after Joe died, my kids, who were all adults, did not want to come home. Home was painful, because Dad was gone. We had to make a new plan. I reserved us a condo in Cabo San Lucas, and creating a new memory helped us adjust to our new normal. Tip No. 5 Celebrate in a different way. Honoring your loved one on a holiday is important. This can be done as a family or by yourself. Allowing yourself a little private time the morning of the holiday to process your pain can be very beneficial. I remember one holiday waking up early to journal and write a letter to my late husband telling him what was on my heart. Another year on Father’s Day after losing my dad, I talked to him while having my morning coffee, just like I would have if he were here. Somehow, doing these little things allows you to share your holiday with your loved one. Tip No. 6: Initiate connection and make a plan. My first New Year’s Eve without my husband, I didn’t have any plans. I felt so lost and very insecure. A few days before the holiday, I called some friends and invited them over. I couldn’t just wait for others to include me or invite me; I had to step out of my comfort zone and make a new plan. Somehow, having a plan made my heart feel more secure. Tip No. 7: Defuse the awkwardness. When I was with friends or family and did break down and cry, I would simply let the tears roll and say, “I just need a moment to cry.” Friends and family can feel uncomfortable when we cry, so helping them be at ease in our pain, defuses the awkwardness. I wish I could take your pain away during the holiday season and ask God to touch your tender heart and bring healing. Jesus came to bring us hope and bind up the broken-hearted. May Immanuel make himself real to you during the holidays. Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie #grief #griefsupport #griefjourney #griefandtheholidays #healingjourney #Holidays #author #thrivingthroughseasonsofgrief #authorsoffacebook #podcaster #podcastlife Book link https://bit.ly/kathleenmr Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, a writer and speaker. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God. You can contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. For more information, articles, her podcast or to purchase her book, “Thriving Through Seasons of Grief,” visit her website at www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

Wearing the right stuff makes you look good

A good friend and I were talking the other day, and she asked, “Kathleen, what are you going to wear?” We were talking about a function we planned to attend together when this common question popped up. “I don’t know,” I replied, “I haven’t planned that far ahead.” Personally, I am not someone who plans what to wear too far ahead. I might think about what I am going to wear for the day as I am fixing my hair and walking to my closet. The day after I was asked the question, I came across a scripture that made me think about that question again. The scripture was, Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV), which states, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity.” I love the fact that God thinks of everything. In his wisdom, he even instructs us about what to wear every day and all the time. Compassion is a concern for the suffering or misfortune of others. We should be compassionate because God is. Psalms 145:8 (NIV) tells us, “The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” It always helps others to know someone cares that their heart hurts, and it is an honor when people are vulnerable and share their pain. I know my personal suffering has developed a greater compassion within me, and I am much quicker to wear compassion these days. Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous or considerate. Did you realize when you smile, you are being kind to others? Be sure and wear your smile today and watch how it affects those around you. Smiling can actually make you look younger, so if you are middle-age or older, it is a must-wear garment. Everyone looks good when they wear humility. Wearing humility enables us to honor others, making them feel just as valued and important even above our own accomplishment. Pride is a common thief that works hard to strip us of humility. Don’t let pride take your humility. Gentleness is expressed in being kind, tender and mild mannered. Gentleness makes us look good because it shows people we care about them. We are to wear it in every situation in life and make it evident. Philippians 4:5 says, “Let your gentleness be evident to all.” We must never forget to wear patience, and scripture shows us we need to constantly wear it until Jesus returns. James 5:7 states, “Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming.” Forgiveness is a necessity in everyday life and with everyone. We can’t forget to put on forgiveness, as it is like a foundation garment. When we forgive, we are the ones that benefit the most. Finally, let me remind you to wear love. Love ties our wardrobe together, and you will always be in style wearing love. This week, I challenge you to examine your wardrobe. God gives us the most important things to wear, and when we choose from God’s wardrobe, we will always look like a million dollars. Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie is a podcaster, author, writer, speaker and native of the Texas Hill Country. Contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. You can also find her book, “Thriving Through Seasons of Grief,” online Bible studies or listen to her podcast on her website at www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

Encouragement, hope, and help in times of tragedy

Encouragement, hope, and help in times of tragedy Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie copyright June 2022

The May 24 shooting event that occurred in Uvalde has rocked our nation and the world around us. On many levels, I am broken-hearted at the loss that has been caused in this small town in South Texas. It has been my privilege to help and minister to families who lost children, staff who witnessed things they should not have, law enforcement and to help the community begin to heal. We have a home outside of Uvalde, and as I drive to town, I have to pass by two cemeteries. Seeing multiple machines digging gravesites for the victims has been very sobering. News outlets from around the country and the world are everywhere. We are all grateful to the law enforcement that came out to aid our already overworked Department of Public Safety, Border Patrol and police. The outpouring of love has been heartwarming in the devastation. A significant part of my ministry as a podcaster, columnist and author involves overcoming grief and dealing with crisis, disappointment and loss. Here are some things that will be helpful in the coming days for us all. If you have not suffered a significant loss, you might be wondering how you can help. I am forever grateful for those who helped in various ways when I was walking through tragedy in my own life. • Listen. People experiencing heartbreak don’t need answers as much as they need presence and a listening ear. Be with them in their pain and let them express their feelings. People need to know we care and value them. We give them honor by sitting with them in their pain. • Offer specific help. Many people say, “Let me know what I can do to help.” However, those people who offered help in specific ways were the most helpful to me. Offer to mow their yard, bring dinner or have a meal sent, have their home cleaned or organized, give them a gift certificate for pedicure, massage, etc. • Anniversaries of loss, birthdays, trigger grief. Put a reminder in your phone to call or send a card on these days in the future. • Pray for them and their families. Remember, grief is a process, and they need ongoing prayers. Time doesn’t heal, but Jesus heals broken hearts. Isaiah 61:1-3 tells us Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted, comfort those who mourn, give them beauty for ashes. Psalms 147:3 reads, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Pray that they will keep moving through the process of grief. The Bible is full of stories of how God used ordinary people like me and you. He needs us to extend hope to diffuse the anxiety and fear of the future. He needs us to be his arms of love and compassion when life is overwhelming. God blesses unity and tells us in Psalms 133:1, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.” He wants us to bring unity to hurting families and communities. 2 Corinthians 3:2-3 reads, “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” God wants to use you and me to be his living love letter of compassion, peace, unity and hope in these troubled days.

Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie is a native of the Hill Country, a podcaster, author, writer and speaker. Contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. You can also purchase her book, “Thriving Through Seasons of Grief,” or listen to her podcast on her website, www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com. #grief #Uvalde #Uvaldestrong #hope #tragedy #overcoming #griefsupport #encouragement #thrivingthroughseasonsofgrief