The waves of grief have been constant, hard and yet have left almost as soon as they hit. With each one, tears have come and gone exhausting me but the cost of not embracing them is too expensive for me as I must go on....it is my only option.
I read something that was just what I needed. I love how God supplies just what we need when we need it. I was reading a book by Graham Cooke called Manifesting Your Spirit. The chapter I read said the following:
"When we are in right place in the Father's heart we are more concerned with learning to be carefree than careful. People unconsciously put upon us their own fears and worries. Though well meant, it is still oppositional in nature. It is acting against God's purposes. We are to follow the will of God not the fears and cautions of man. It is hard to conform to something that is rooted in a negative. In my own circumstances, problems have arisen because people failed to see my emerging identity and destiny."
This quote seems to describe some of what I have felt God saying to me. To simply have fun in my new life, enjoy it and be carefree as He leads me. He alone knows the pain and agony I have endured in the past year. It is a new season for me and stepping out takes a great amount of courage. I have given my heart and life over again to God so it is His to protect and guard. I feel freedom from the Lord to step out into the unknown. I have begun to dream again and although I have no clue how those dreams will be realized I know God is calling me to something higher and deeper in Him and there is much for me to accomplish in the days ahead. Often we want to have things all figured out before we begin and yet God just says step out on the water and hold my hand. Walking holding His hand is what makes it a walk of faith. It works for me and makes life an adventure! I can live carefree as His much loved child.
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