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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Seeing The Good in Another Transition

     I know it has been a while since my last blog and much has happened. I am so grateful for God's strong hand that guides me as life once again shifts for me.
     The memorial service to honor my Dad was everything I wanted it to be. I was really blessed by all the people that attended his visitation and his memorial service. It was good to see those that were a part of his life and the life I shared with him. It was good to see all my kids and spend time with them. His life touched many and I have enjoyed hearing stories from others of how he touched their lives. What an impact he and mom had on this community. They pioneered a Bible study for over 20 years that brought people of various denominations together and learned to know God in a deeper way. I have had so many people tell me how dad was their favorite person  and how much they learned from him. His life lives on through many and I am grateful and honored to be his daughter.
     It is hard to believe that after 9 years of caregiving for mom and dad, there is a break in the clouds. They have been such a part of my everyday life, being on call for whatever is needed, doctor's visits, phone calls, etc. Being a caregiver and being on call was never what I signed up for but nevertheless, I have learned much. The experience has changed me for the better. I do miss them both.
     I must honor my sweet husband that has definitely been through a great deal in the three months we have been married. I feel like we have already lived 5 years together in what we have experienced. Two hospital visits, Hospice, death of mom, dad with cancer, a fire in our home, holidays, death of dad...that is a lot for newlyweds and I am thankful for his heart for me and ability to roll with life. God's timing for putting us together  was perfect. I am so grateful to have him by my side as I transverse through another major transition in my life. The beauty of this time is that my kids have gotten to spend a lot of time with Stephen and that has been a great thing as it has bonded our family together. He really does make all things work together for good.

      Tomorrow would have been Joe's 56th birthday and February 23 is Price's 23rd birthday. My baby will be 23! My life doesn't look anything like what it did 4 years ago. It has changed dramatically as three significant people in my life are gone and new people are in my life. Change helps us to grow and hang on to God. I am thankful for all I have learned and how I have changed in the past four years. I have grown in confidence and trust in God, I am not afraid of anything, I am a woman that has learned to be at peace in life's heartaches and I have learned to enjoy new adventures with God and walk into the unknown full of faith.


Thursday, February 7, 2013

Finishing Strong and Dad's Final Hours

Stephen and I went to see Mallory and Rob in Houston this past weekend. While we were there, I noticed that my father was uneasy with me being gone. He wanted me to be with my daughter but also kept asking when I was returning...Monday of this week, I came in from Houston and met my brother and father at Peterson Memorial Hospital at the emergency room. I was greeted by the doctor who asked me if I had the advanced directives as my father was not doing well and they needed to know what to do...He began to tell me that dad had pneumonia in his right lung, his kidney's were shutting down and he wasn't sure he could overcome the pneumonia with his other health conditions. After kissing Daddy and talking to him a little, Stephen and I went to the house to find the advanced directives. He was quickly put on a special breathing machine to keep him breathing until my sister could arrive. In the mean time, I signed the papers once again for someone I loved to put them on Hospice. Dad struggled with each breath and didn't say much all evening. He held my hand and held Stephen's. It was a sweet time.

 My sister arrived after 10:00 pm and spent the night with Dad. They needed that time. Tuesday was a long and intense day as we embraced the reality that he was quickly slipping away from life here on this earth. At 6:13 p m with all of us standing around singing Amazing Grace, he tok his last breath here on earth and his first in heaven.

We will have a visitation Friday at Grimes Funeral Chapel from 5-7 and a memorial service on Saturday at 2:00 at Grace Bible Chapel.