An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Friday, June 17, 2016

Healing for your heart this Father's Day



Healing your heart on Father’s Day
Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie
June2016
Copyright


My father, Landon Jones
“You’re a good good father, that’s who you are, who you are - and I’m loved by you, that’s who I am, who I am,” were the words of a popular Christian song my little two year old granddaughter, Collins, sang as we walked to the park a few days ago. I had to smile wondering what she understood about those words. Her parents have been teaching her about Jesus and God, however, I also know she is two and dearly loves her daddy, so I’m not sure she comprehended the true meaning of the song. The sweetness of her voice singing these words were music to my ears.

Collins is the daughter of my oldest son, Austin, and she definitely has her red headed 6’4” daddy wrapped around her finger.  My son adores his little girl.

Many will celebrate Father’s Day in a couple of days and honor their earthly fathers, stepfathers and grandfathers. I was taught from a young age to honor my dad, so Father’s Day, for the majority of my years, has been a day of celebration.

In my years of ministry, social work and personal life, I also know that Father’s Day can also be difficult for many. Unfortunately, there are men that have either abandon their responsibility as dads, abused their children with their words, actions, or emotionally withdrawn themselves. These interactions between father and child can produce wounding and painful memories that many carry into adulthood.

For others, losing a good father to illness, cancer, suicide or a sudden death can make Father’s Day difficult.  My father died at age 84 and I know I missed him terribly the first June he was gone from this earth. He was not perfect, made mistakes, but I always knew he loved me and he took care of me. I still miss him…

When my three children were growing up, I made sure they honored their  dad on  Father’s Day by getting  up early, fixing him breakfast and either buying or making him a special present. The first year he was not with us on Father’s Day was painful for all four of us.

God is so gracious to provide for us in every circumstance of life. He is truly a good father.  Psalms 27:19 says, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up.” (NIV) 

This is a powerful promise for those of us that have lost our dads by either death or life circumstances.  My dad was a good godly man and when he was gone, I thanked God for this scripture, as I knew God would be that council I needed, protector, and the father that he would never forsake me.

God, as our father, also promises to bind up the broken hearted. 

Isaiah 61:1 says “…He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted and to proclaim freedom for the captives…” (NIV) Ask God to heal your heart and be a daddy to you. In doing so, you give a gift to yourself, as well as your father and open the door to a wonderful relationship with God as your father.

 If your father has wounded you in any way, I challenge you to take steps toward your own personal freedom this Father’s Day and choose to forgive him. If that is too painful, just ask God to help you to be willing to choose to forgive your dad for how he has hurt you or abandon you.

When my three children were growing up, I made sure they honored their  dad on  Father’s Day by getting  up early, fixing him breakfast and either buying or making him a special present. The first year he was not with us on Father’s Day was painful for all four of us.

Last dance...
Ephesians 6:2 says, “Honor your father and mother-which is the first commandment with promise-that it may go well with you and you may enjoy a long life here on earth.”  (NIV) This scripture tells us that it is a commandment to honor our father. This can be difficult for people when a dad has dishonored their children through abuse. I have had numerous people ask me about this passage and how to honor their father, when they have been hurt deeply by their dad.  I think some ways you can honor in these situations is to honor their position, honor that they gave you life, be respectful and say “yes sir, no sir.” Scripture does not say we have to like everything they do or say but it does command us to honor them.  

If you have dishonored your father, you can always ask God to forgive you and if your dad is living, ask his forgiveness also. I am so thankful that God loves to forgive us when we have done wrong.

God is the one father that is always there, always has time to listen, absolutely adores you, sees your potential, and constantly loves you no matter what you have done. Will you let him be your daddy?

This Father’s Day weekend, I ask the Lord to heal any misconceptions you have about God being a good father. I ask God to touch your heart and bring healing  where you have been  wounded by your dad.  I pray for grace to forgive your father of anything hurtful said or done to you and I ask our heavenly father to wrap his arms of love around you. I bless each father reading this article and ask God to give each of you a fresh understanding of his great love for you. May Father’s Day 2016 be a healing one for each of you.

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country,  a writer and speaker. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God and their value. You can contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com and on her blog www.themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com