The lost art of honor

Honor-a lost art

Honoring my husband

Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie

copyright May 2018

Years ago, I helped host an art reception with several other ladies to honor a local artist. This artist had graciously donated some of her work to the business I worked for. We decided to honor her contribution to our nonprofit and to our our community for her artistic talent. 

 After the reception, I was visiting with one of the other hostesses and she made the comment, that honor is a lost art in our society and culture. Somehow, our society has slowly drifted away from this character trait. I had to agree.

Honor is defined as giving high respect or esteem to someone or something; a person or thing that brings credit to something. Romans 12:10 instructs us by saying, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”(NIV) 

The word honor in this passage actually means “precious.” Do you look at those around you as something precious?

What are some ways we can honor those around us? 

First off, by speaking to them. I witnessed something the other day that was dishonoring. Two people were talking in a business conversation and a third person walked in and interrupted the conversation. He spoke to one lady and gave her a directive but totally ignored the other woman. One of the most disrespectful things you can do to someone, is to ignore them or give them the silent treatment. People who do this, only show their own insecurity and their own immaturity. 

 Another way to honor others is by how we speak to them. My dryer broke and I was dealing with the repair for 6 weeks. The wrong parts were ordered twice, the company had to cancel the appointment several times for internal issues, and then the second service man forgot to order the correct part he needed! 

Needless to say, I was not real happy with the situation. As I talked to Customer Solutions, I was challenged to speak kindly to the woman on the phone as I pleaded my case. I can’t say it was easy, as I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind. Honoring her as a person, who is trying to do a good job, got me further than giving her a piece of my mind and I know, honored God.

Showing honoring to others raises their value. It picks them up and elevates them. It is a deposit in their bank instead of a withdrawal. Honoring someone blesses them. 

Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” (NIV) 

Imagine if we were constantly affirming one another for their contribution to our families, churches, organizations, etc. Honoring others above ourselves is a directive from scripture. The Bible is so good at showing us how to live well.

National Day of Prayer

One of my all time favorite scriptures is Psalms 8:4 and 5. It says, “What is man that your are mindful of him and the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.” (NIV)

In this scripture, God esteems you and me. He honors us for simply being who we are. His honor is bestowed upon us. God almighty honors you! He has given you a crown of glory and validates you, as being important. He even gives you and me a crown. It is his way of saying, “Hey world- this is someone of value!” 

This passage transformed how I personally thought about myself years ago. My personal self esteem was pretty low at the time, and one morning in my quite time I read Psalms 8. I suddenly saw that God almighty saw me as a woman of value. I had the choice to throw away the way I felt about myself and trade my thoughts for God’s. What about you? Do you need to toss some of your thoughts about yourself and see yourself as a person of value.

To take that passage to another level, if God honors the person next to us, we should  honor them too? How do you treat those in your home? Let me challenge your thinking. How can you give something to someone if you don’t have it yourself? If you have trouble honoring others, perhaps it is because you don’t have a high regard for yourself. To lift them up, would only make you feel worse about yourself. Perhaps that is why some people struggle with honoring others.

 Honor is a character trait that people in royalty practice. I have no doubt that honor is everywhere in heaven. Why?  In scripture, God honored Jesus. Jesus honored his Father God and Jesus and God highly honored the work of the Holy Spirit. Each one valued the others function higher than their own. Do you honor others in your church, in your work place for the work they do? Do you tell them how much you appreciate them?

Lt. Commander Austin Maxwell

Honor looks for what a person does right, not wrong. I think often times, Christians are too judgmental of others. The truth is, if we were walking in their shoes, we might do the very same thing.

With this being Memorial Day Weekend, I would like to honor not only those that have given their lives for our country. Many thanks to those that sacrificed years of their life, so we can live in a country with many freedoms.

I also want to honor the spouses, sons and daughters, fathers and mothers of those that  went to war. They sacrificed for us too and I want to say thank you to them and honor them. And to all those that were left with their lives in pieces from a loss, I ask God to bless you in many ways and heal your hearts. 

Collins and her daddy

 I have discovered that I need to do better at honoring those around me. Honor may be a lost art but you and I can begin to change our society and community by honoring those around us. It has to start somewhere, why not with me and you? 

Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie is a native of the Hill Country. She is passionate about helping others to discover their value and worth. You can contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com or visit her blog at www.themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com

Encouragement for Mothers

Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie

May 2018 copyright

Mother’s Day Encouragement

My mom-Mary Belle Jones

My mother was a 5’2, blue-eyed lady that taught me many things. She taught me everything from “say please and thank you” and “don’t forget to wear your lipstick” to “ you better shape up or ship out”  and there was always, “get happy just like you got sad.” 

She loved to dress up and was frequently seen wearing high heels even though she was a stay at home mom. 

 Mary Belle loved people and would talk to anyone that would listen.  She was a genuine lady and tried her best to teach me how to be a lady…I’m still learning.

The best things my mom taught me were about walking with God. She loved the Lord and it was evident by the many times I would see her studying her Bible, listening to worship music and by the life she led. 

She was a woman that loved God with all her heart and she was a praying woman. I am forever grateful for all the prayers she prayed for me and all the wise counsel she gave me.

Austin - my oldest son and me Mother's Day

My mom had a passion to tell people about Jesus and was a children’s church leader at Grace Bible Chapel for years. She led countless kids to the Lord throughout her years of ministry. She taught me how to share the gospel and to reach out to share the love of Jesus with other. 

She left his earth five years ago but not before she was able to leave me a great legacy. 

Mary Belle was not a perfect mom and I did not always agree with her but she was a good mother.  

Perhaps you are reflecting on your own mother this weekend. Good memories, bad memories, funny ones - God word is very specific on how to treat our parents. 

Ephesians 6:2 says, “ Honor your father and mother - which is the first commandment with a promise - that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy a long life on the earth.” (NIV). 

I found eight times in scripture where God tells us to honor our father and mother, which indicates that it is pretty important to the heart of God. 

Deuteronomy 27:16 tells us, “Cursed is the man who dishonors his father or his mother.” (NIV) We can actually bring difficulty upon ourselves when we dishonor our parents. 

So what does that mean to us today? You do not have to like everything your mom did or did not do, but you do have to honor the God given position she has in your life. If nothing else, you can be grateful your mom carried you in her womb and gave birth to you.

Price and Halie's wedding-my youngest son

 Ask God to show you things you can be thankful for concerning your mom, the things she did do right. Otherwise, as the scripture says, it will not go well with you in your life. Honoring our mother is not just a suggestion but a commandment with a promise. When we honor our mom, we receive a blessing!

My late husband did a great job of training our kids to honor me as their mother. Each Mother’s Day, he would take them shopping to buy something for me, had them make me a card - because cards mean a lot to me - and would get them up early to make me breakfast in bed. 

Fathers, I challenge you to teach your children to honor their mom. It is your responsibility.

Maybe your mom had some problems and hurt you in some ways emotionally or physically- or both.

  I have counseled many people that have bitterness and resentment towards their mother. Unfortunately, those thoughts and feelings hold the person, not the mother, in bondage. 

My three kids

If your mom has hurt you, let you down, not been there for you, made wrong choices, do yourself a favor and forgive her this Mother’s Day. Forgiveness truly is a gift you give to yourself as much as to her. You do not have to tell her you forgive her, rather, it can just be a conversation between you and God.

Perhaps your biological mom is not around any longer and there is another woman in your life that is like a mom. When my mom got Parkinson's Disease and dementia, there was another woman that became my “other mother” as I call her.  I am forever grateful for her guidance, love and presence in my life. 

Some of the girls I've been a spiritual mom to

There are many women that have never given birth that have found ways in which to serve as mothers to others.  Never underestimate the value of being a presence in someones life and do not forget to thank those that have been like a mom to you. They are God’s gift to you. 

I have many people that call me “Mom” that I did not give birth to,  but for whom I’ve tried to be there for them in their lives. I know God has put me in their lives to invest in them.

If you are a young mom, I want to encourage you to enjoy - find the joy - in every stage of mothering. I raised three children and sometimes the days seemed like they would never end. Someone always needed something from me and often times I struggled to balance work, each child’s needs, discipline, training and teaching them about how to walk with God. 

There were times I would  laugh and say to my friends, “where do I turn in my mother button?” My children are now 37, 33, and 28 and those long mothering days are over and it is such a joy to see the fruit of my labor in their lives today. 

Training your children to walk with God is  one of the most important things you can do for your child because you will not always be with them but God will.

 I challenge you to make teaching them scripture, teaching them to pray, and teaching them how to walk with God a priority. There is no grater joy than to see your grown kids walk with God and teach their own children - your grandchildren about Jesus.

Motherhood is not easy but it is worth it. One of the scriptures that kept me going and that I would pray over myself during the long days of mothering was Proverbs 31:25  It says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity and she can laugh at the days to come.”

 I pray this for each mother this Mother’s Day and pray this Mother’s Day will be a healing time for all. 

All my kids!

Happy Mother’s Day Month!

Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie is a native of the Hill Country. She is passionate about helping others to discover their value and worth. You can contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com or visit her blog at www.themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com