Why we should aways choose forgiveness instead offense

Why we should always choose forgiveness instead offense

by Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie

November 2020-copyright

In my more than 36 years of social work and ministry, it has been extremely evident that forgiveness is a big key to freedom in the lives of people.

I’ve had a good life; however, life is challenging at times. Personally, I’ve been rejected, betrayed, been through verbal abuse, misunderstanding and abandoned by people when I’ve needed them the most.

Some of you have been through things tougher than I have, and for all of us, it can be challenging to forgive.

We need the tool of forgiveness for healthy work environment, family unity, in churches, and forgiving is a critical component to a healthy marriage. Forgiveness helps us keep in relationship with those around us.

We all deal with difficult people, and none of us are perfect. Oftentimes, people are unkind, insensitive, don’t tell the truth, are selfish, sometimes just don’t think, take advantage of us, abandon us in time of need, misunderstand us and misconstrue things. Bosses abuse their power and devalue people when they don’t measure up.

What we do in these times is critical for our well-being.

Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves more than we do it for the one who has offended us.

When we forgive, we set ourselves free from anger and bitterness. God will forgive our sins, and our rewards will be great. Forgiveness of our sins and great rewards are a pretty good trade for anger and bitterness.

Luke 6:35-38 says, “Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them, not expecting anything in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. He is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

I was in a recent situation where I was tempted to get my feelings hurt and be offended. Suddenly, I remembered the words of a friend a while back: “Kathleen, you can be unoffendable, if you choose.”

I chose, in that moment, to not be offended and to forgive.

“Lord, I give you this situation and the hurt and choose to forgive,” was my simple prayer.

Peace came over me. I knew I did not need to fix the problem, but give it to God. Peace is another benefit of forgiveness.

Until we forgive, the hurt caused remains unhealed. Forgiveness starts the process for our own heart to heal. There have been many times in life I have chosen to forgive, even when I did not feel like, it because I’ve learned the power of forgiveness to set me free.

My prayer in these times is, “Lord, I don’t feel like forgiving, but I choose as an act of my will to forgive. Change and heal my heart.”

This prayer always puts me in a better frame of mind.

When we do not forgive, it puts us in prison. Forgiveness unlocks the door and lets us out of prison. You hold the key to begin the process, and Jesus is right there to heal your heart, if you bring it to Him.

We are living in days where many people walk around offended. You and I do not have to be a part of that group. Will you join me in setting a standard of being quick to forgive and not be offended?

Kathleen is a Hill Country writer, speaker and podcaster. She is passionate about helping people bring God into their everyday life. She leads a Bible study at the Kroc Center — The Gathering: Bringing God into Everyday Life — from 6:30 to 7:45 p.m. on Thursdays. To register, email kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. There is no charge for the class. www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

Forgiveness: It’s your choice

·       Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie

 Oct 17, 2020 Kerrville Daily Times article

 

I was recently asked by someone, “Kathleen, what encouragement and advice do you wish you had learned when you were younger?”

My answer was quick and simple.

“Don’t wait until you feel like forgiving; forgiveness is a choice, choose to forgive and ask God to heal and change your heart,” I replied.

A young version of me would frequently say, “I will forgive when I feel like it.”

I’ve always wanted to be real and true to myself, and somehow, I felt like if I did not really feel like forgiving, it would not be genuine. Most of the time, I did not feel like it because I was still hurt or offended and not willing to let go of the offense.

Years ago, someone who was a friend and in the church really hurt and betrayed me. What made matters worse, they were someone in leadership. This offense, rocked my world and shook my faith. The pain was deep, and I wondered how I would move forward in my life.

To be betrayed by someone we trust is difficult.

Finally, I prayed a prayer that forever changed my life.

“God, I don’t feel like forgiving, but I choose as an act of my will to forgive, please change and heal my heart.”

It was not a one-time prayer; I think I prayed that prayer more than 100 times to keep my heart right.

Forgiveness is the power to heal wounds of the past it cannot change. Forgiveness and healing of the heart oftentimes is a process.

I felt like a huge weight was lifted from me after the first time I prayed that prayer, and now it is much easier to say and a frequent prayer I pray to keep my heart right.

What I discovered in that time years ago was that if I simply obeyed God’s word and chose to forgive, because He admonishes us to do so, it was God’s job to change my heart, and that brought great freedom into my life.

Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) states, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Let me emphasize the word if. God gives us a choice. We all have bad days, make mistakes and need forgiveness. If we want forgiveness when we mess up, we must be willing to forgive others.

This world is full of imperfect people, and I am one of them, but I’ve discovered there are some people who carry around offenses and hold onto them like a dear possession.

I don’t like to make mistakes, but I do, and I’m sure I have offended people in my life, although I try hard not to. All of us mess up, and forgiving ourselves and others brings great freedom.

I wasted many years in my life, carrying the baggage of unforgiveness around. Unforgiveness weighs us down, puts a scowl on our face and robs us of peace and an abundant life. Unforgiveness keeps us stirred up, wastes time and our energy.

We forgive because the Bible says it is good for us. We forgive because we want our own pain to end, and we want to be free. We forgive because we can’t change the past or other people, and we want to move forward and live an abundant life.

If your heart has been broken by someone, do yourself a favor, chose to forgive and be encouraged.

Psalms 147:3 (NIV) promises, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Our nations needs a people who are quick to forgive and are free.

Kathleen is a Hill Country writer, speaker and podcaster. She is passionate about helping people bring God into their everyday life. She can be reached at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. Visit www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com, themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com or kathleenmaxwellrambie.podbean.com

Thriving Through Seasons of Grief Seminar

 Upcoming Seminar by Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie

Thursday, October 29th  6:00-7:30

Please see detail for registration 

Thriving Through Seasons of Grief Seminar-October 29th 

Held at The Dietert Center-451 Guadalupe St. from 6:00-7:30 p.m.  Cost is $20. All funds go to Dietert Center. No class at The Kroc that evening. Click here to register!

https://clubed.augusoft.net/index.cfm?method=ClassInfo.ClassInformation&int_class_id=49565&int_category_id=0&int_sub_category_id=0&int_catalog_id=0#.X4uEK-TpR7g.gmail

Here is the course description:

This course will explore how to overcome life's disappointments, change and grief. Grief is a past of life and when embraced can benefit and make you a better person. There are many different kinds of grief beyond the loss of a loved one. Grief can be experienced in the loss of a job, moving to a new location, children leaving home, death of a dream, divorce and major disappointment in life. We will explore letting go, the benefits of grief, healing of your heart, and how to thrive in seasons of loss. The course is also designed to help friends and family of someone grieving, to better understand those they love. Grief is a great teacher that can teach us much about understanding ourselves and others. Our speaker, author, podcaster and newspaper columnist, will share from her own personal journey of losing a baby, her husband of 30 years and both of her parents, as well as other losses, helping each participant find beauty in the ashes of life. Her new book, Thriving Through Seasons of Grief, has just been released and will be available after the class. Kathleen transparently shares, motivating and encouraging offering hope to her audiences. She is a regular columnist for Kerrville Daily Times Faith Section, writes for Hill Country Community Journal and the Uvalde Leader News, sharing in a very down-to-earth way, about bringing God into our everyday life.

Challenged? Abundant, sufficient grace is available-latest podcast-Hijacked plans and Fall Bible study begins October 8th

Challenged? Abundant, sufficient grace is available for you!

Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie-copyright October 2020

I love working out, and on Sept. 11, I attended Shotgun CrossFit in Uvalde, where my husband is currently working. We did a very difficult workout to commemorate 9/11. I was trying hard to keep up as I’m one of the oldest in the class.

About halfway through the class, I wondered if I could finish, as the things we were doing were hard and repetitive. In an effort to shift my focus from “I can’t” to “I can,” I began to focus on the exercises, and I began to thank God for different things.

Thanksgiving always helps me adjust my attitude and get positive.

“Thank you, God, that your grace is sufficient for this class, thank you for abundant grace, thank you for amazing grace,” I continued as I took another breath and jogged a little slower.

God’s grace is something that enables us to do things that we ourselves cannot do on our own. His grace also is his presence in our lives that is always available to us to access at any given time in our lives.

The problem we face is we often try to do things in our own strength instead of depending on Him.

When Jesus came, a new season of grace became available.

Studying the word grace, I discovered that it is frequently referred to with some incredible adjectives.

Abundant grace, sufficient grace, riches of grace, confident grace, much grace and surpassing grace were some of the adjectives I found in the Bible about this power-packed word.

Romans 5:17 (NIV) says: “… how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one-man Jesus Christ.”

When we simply say, “God help me” in our everyday task at work or at home, His grace helps us rule over, instead of being under life’s circumstances.

II Corinthians 2:9 (NIV) states: “My grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

There have been days when I have thought I just cannot go another step. It is in those times, I’ve heard God say, “You can do this; my grace is sufficient.”

Grace is not earned; it is a gift.

I’ve received lots of gifts in my life, and with each one, I had the choice to open the present and use it or leave it unwrapped and unused.

II Corinthians 9:14 (NIV) talks about surpassing grace: “… because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!”

Surpassing means incomparable or outstanding. That is the kind of gift God gives to each of us every day.

Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) says: “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

This scripture tells us that grace is not earned by good works. It is something God gives to us, even when we do not deserve it. We can always approach God with confidence because His character is rooted in love and forgiveness. God loves to help us.

His power is right here for you and me in family situations, at work, in relationships, with our kids, in health battles, being kind when others are not and even at a workout at the gym.

I have had to call on God’s grace for all the above-mentioned things in the recent months. God is right beside you and me, waiting to give us what we need to face where we are in life. Grace does not depend on how good you have or have not been, it is an amazing gift you open right now.

I finished the class that day and smiled as I walked out the door. God’s grace had helped me finish, and I even did a handstand at the end to celebrate!

God cares about the little things in life as well as the big things.

I challenge you to join me in thanking God for grace, opening the gift of grace and using it at work, the gym, at home and wherever you are.

Kathleen is a Hill Country writer, speaker and podcaster. She is passionate about helping people bring God into their everyday life. She can be reached at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. Visit www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com, themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com or kathleenmaxwellrambie.podbean.com.

Have you ever had a plan and then something happened and it got hijacked? This podcast will address what to do when this happens in our lives and help us navigate and find the unforced rhythm of grace and redemption. Click to listen! https://kathleenmaxwellrambie.podbean.com/e/hijacked-plans-and-rhythms-grace/

Fall Bible Study

Also, if you haven't signed up for our fall Bible study, sign up today! The Gathering-Bringing God into Everyday Life will begin Thursday, October 8th at 6:30 p.m. at The Kroc Center in Kerrville. Check out the topics and social distancing will be practiced.

To sign up, click the link below. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/120596737087 or reply to this email.

Announcing our new website! Get the latest news, podcast, and reserve your copy of Kathleen's upcoming book! Don't forget to sign up for the newsletter!

www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com