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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Here we go again...

I know I sound like a broken record, but this last week has been spent at the Sid Peterson Hospital with my dad again.  I found out today he has two more compression fractures in his back and is scheduled for surgery Monday.  As I went to register him, the lady said, "you look so familiar."  I wanted to know if I got frequent flyer miles!  My sister came down to help as I also had to take my mom to San Antonio to see her doctor.  Tis the season for them and as hard as it is, I am getting a rhythm  now and it just seems normal. I know in the days ahead I will treasure these days.  I  too am asking for your prayers.  This is an endurance time  for me and a challenge time for me.  I have set my will to finish strong and joyfully...breathe and focus will get me through.  He is faithful and He loves; me-this I know.

 My time away prior to the plethora of doctors. xrays, bone scans, etc. has helped me to be in a better place to handle things this time.  I continue to find ways to make this season fun by putting the top down on my car and turning the radio up.  This is the ninth time in the hospital in 20 months.  Yesterday marked 20 months of being single.

A friend wrote and told me of a dream she had about me and Joe.  I want to share it with you because it was a real encouragement.

You were at the front of the room leading the celebration with songs and prayers of thankfulness for the blessings these people were in our lives. I was at the back greeting both the living and the dead as they came to celebrate their lives and and see those still here who loved them. We were able to distinguish between the people who were alive and the people who had come down from heaven to "visit" their families and friends. As I was greeting a woman who had come from heaven, she smiled and pointed toward the front of the room.
And that's when I saw Joe. He had on a suit and was all handsome and strong. He was carrying a little girl with blonde wavy hair. She had on a white dress with pink trim. When he came in, the crowd went crazy with applause and joy at seeing him. The two of you embraced and you kissed him two or three times on the cheek! He was smiling, you were smiling, and then you both said good-bye and he told you he was happy and that heaven is wonderful. And that he was proud of you. And he thanked me for keeping you and the kids in my prayers.
I guess when we pray, God isn't the only one who hears our prayers. Our loved ones know we miss them, know that we love them, and know that we are doing well and moving on and they are totally okay with that. Expecting that to be the case, in fact! And when I have dreams like this, it fills me with such peace and reminds me that our time here on earth is so short and to just do the best we can because the real victory as we know is in heaven!

The interesting thing about the dream was that few people know that we lost a baby girl in 1997 due to a miscarriage.  It was a great comfort to know that she was with her dad and I had no doubt Joe was happy,  It was good to hear he was proud of me.  My friend had no idea we had lost a child and I know God was speaking to me thru her.

I had the opportunity to speak in Gonzales and had a lot of fun.  It was my first time to speak at a fundraising event.  Next week I will travel to Baytown and will speak at Second Baptist Church on Friday June 17th for a ladies meeting.  If you are in the area please join us. for information

My trip to California was fun.  It is a beautiful state and there is so much to do.  Lin and I went hiking, went to Lake Tahoe, bike riding, enjoyed the gorgeous views.  He continues to be a wonderful friend and is the most humble man I have ever known.  He is very easy to talk to and understanding with the grief.  His friendship has been a great gift and he has been perfect for me to learn how to date again.  Dating at 51 is quite different!

1 comment:

  1. That dream is really something. I lost a child in 1995--ectopic pregnancy. It still hurts.