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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Monday, January 21, 2013

Contractors, Blessings and the Oncologist

     I keep waiting for life to slow down but right now it doesn't appear that it is. Years ago when mom was so sick and I was grieving the fact that the mom that I knew was gone. I was afraid that I would keep grieving my mom as her illness lingered. As I prayed about it, I felt God say to me, " you are grieving me now because when she does go, it will be a time for you to run." I have held on to that although I wasn't sure what it meant. I am not sure I know now but I do know there has been a lot to deal with with newly married, work being intense, dad's illness, the holidays, and the house being undone because of the fire. His grace has carried me and I am so thankful
     Last week I took dad to the oncologist. The said that his disease was extensive and the cancer was in the bones and bone marrow. He is in stage three of three stages.They actually did a treatment on him that day to help his bones as the cancer has destroyed some bones in his back already. He has shrunk from being 6 ft to 5'5". I hate seeing someone I love suffer again. I must admit it was hard walking into the cancer treatment room. Seeing the poles and two women struggle during their chemo treatments made me take a deep breath. I've seen that way too many times and it just wasn't fun. The good news was I took the opportunity to pray with both women instead of just focusing on my situation.. They were touched and I felt like I encouraged them. Once again, God's grace cradled my heart.. Somehow I know He will help me as I let go of the man I've loved the longest in my life.
     The contractors finally finished the repairs on our house from the fire. Things have been crazy the last month with different crews coming in to work to get rid of the smoke damage, the repairs on the wall and painting. There are blessings in every crisis and the good news is Stephen and I have been able to clean out a lot of things and make the house ours instead of mine. Although it has been a lot of work, it has been fun and we have rearranged the furniture and took some of our furniture to Uvalde.

  It was one year ago today that we began our relationship. It began with emails, progressed to phone conversations, lunch and then dates with me and my friends. I love the kindness in his heart and his humor. Even though we have been through a great deal in a short amount of time, it seems like we have been together a long time as there is a real comfortableness in our relationship. We have a lot of fun together and enjoy dancing together, walking, praying together and our life.  


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