Finding joy when things are tough

Finding joy when things are tough Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie Jan 21, 2022 0

Joy. What exactly is it? As a noun, joy is a feeling of great happiness or pleasure. As a verb, it means to rejoice. It is an emotion that I feel God wants his children to have every day. Some days are simply more challenging than others, but I am discovering there is grace to access joy, when I choose to. This means that I am responsible for finding my joy if it is lost or appears to be hiding behind difficult circumstances. So, how do we find joy when life throws us a big curve ball and when we are enduring situations that continue to hurt or linger? I believe finding joy is dependent on our focus and taking our responsibility. James 1:2-5 reads, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” It is easy to be joyful when life is going like you like it, but most of us would agree that life doesn't always go like we plan. Not long ago, I was suddenly put in a situation that could have been a hornet’s nest if not handled delicately, and I could have been the one who was stung. It was a good thing I was studying the scripture in James about finding pure joy in trials. I quickly called a friend to pray and started the conversation laughing and with the words, “Oh my word, how could I be my life and how could I be in this situation?” I was laughing to keep from crying and was trying to find my joy, so I could handle the situation and come out a winner. Laughter is good medicine, and I knew my friend would understand. She did and laughed with me and prayed. Looking at how I could joyfully win in the situation instead of being overwhelmed helped me pass the test. Finding humor in tough things is helpful in finding our joy. Where we focus is vital in trials. Psalms 16:8-11 reads, "I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore, my heart is glad and my inner man rejoices and my body will rest secure. You have made known to me the path of life; you fill me with joy in your presence with pleasures at your right hand." This scripture tells us where to focus, setting the bigness of God and his ability before us. When we do this, it allows our heart to calm down. We rest, in that God is with us and will direct our path. And when we spend time with him, we find our joy. Joy is evidence of walking with God, because it is part of his character. Galatians 5 tells us that joy is one of the fruits of the spirit, which is part of who he is. He is always joyful, and he wants us as his kids to reflect his joy and be joyful. As a former gymnast and coach, I know how important focus is to maintain your balance when you are on a balance beam. The right focus is the difference in staying on and falling off. The same is true in life. If my focus is negative, fearful, my outlook and attitude will be, too. This scripture also says I am not alone. He is holding me by the right hand. When I picture myself holding his hand, I am much more confident and secure. I love the determination of the psalmist in Psalms 16 when he says, "I WILL not be shaken." Our will is a powerful thing that we can use in a positive or negative way. There have been many days I have had to live out of my will to do what is pleasing to God instead of what I feel like. Joy follows when our focus is right, when we hold his hand and when we set our will in a positive manner. When we turn our hearts to him, look at God with childlike wonder in how he is going to work it out, we find joy. I encourage you to take responsibility and find your joy.

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, a writer and speaker. Beginning at ^;30 p.m. Thursdays in February at The Kroc Center in Kerrville, she will lead her Bible study, The Gathering-Bringing God into Everyday Life. For more information or to register, contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. You can also purchase her book, “Thriving Through Seasons of Grief,” or listen to her podcast on her website, www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

Thriving Through Seasons of Grief by Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie

This book is for the broken hearted, the disappointed, and those picking up the pieces of their life. Full of true stories, easy to read and will give the reader hope and practical tools.

Now available on Amazon in paperback or on Kindle. #grief #hope #griefjourney #griefsupport #author #griefhelp #thrivingthroughseasonsofgrief

God's healing touch during the holidays

God’s healing touch during the holidays By Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie copyright 2021

Most of us think of the holidays as a time of celebration, gatherings with friends and family, and pretty lights. For others, the holidays only remind them of what is NOT in their lives anymore. Grief often shows up unexpected during this season triggering the pain that might have remained hidden the rest of the year. Christmas is full of memories and those precious memories tend to come to mind during this season. The good news is, God is with us in our pain and heals. I speak from experience. The things I have learned from walking through grief have been some of the best teachers in my life. Learning that no matter what I face, God holds my hand and is full of compassion, has given me great confidence and expanded my compassion for other people, which is priceless. God cares when our hearts hurt and wants to heal us. Psalms 34:17 (NIV) states “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” It may not feel like God is close in our pain, but the truth is, He has never been closer. As I have experienced Him guiding me, encouraging me and His kindness, it has made the above scripture very real. God relentlessly kept showing me He was right beside me. Too often, our feelings lie to us and in tough times, we feel like life is over, God has forsaken us, but we must believe the truth of God’s word and press through the feelings. If you are brokenhearted over losing a loved one, recently divorced or have experienced another loss, let me encourage you to ask God to open your eyes to see His nearness and to encourage your heart. I have done that and it works. You are precious to Him and He cares that your heart hurts. Six years ago, I lost of both of my parents before and right after the holidays. I was not looking forward to the first holiday without them, as they had been with me for more than 50 years. As I approached the holiday, instead of focusing on missing them, I began to wonder, what adventure would God had ahead for me. God is always good, and I’ve learned from losing my late husband that, when facing something new and different without a loved one, I could find comfort and joy, looking for the adventure and God’s goodness. Needless to say, it was different the first year without them, as I spent the holiday in Alpine, Texas, with my new husband on a 40,000-acre ranch, mule deer hunting and helping him with his hunting business, a side business he has done for years. The beauty and majesty of the area was breathtaking, and I missed a 10-point buck … I’ll get him one day! My dad loved West Texas, and it will always remind me of him. Enjoying something he loved so much brought me a smile. I’ve found joy in the differentness and enjoyed the challenge. Christmas can be challenging for those suffering from grief as it brings up so many memories. Oftentimes, these are memories of the good times we have shared with those we love. These memories bring the reality of our loss to the forefront of our minds. You may not be grieving this holiday season, but God may want to use you to be His arms of compassion and love. Often, people that are grieving just need people to affirm their pain and loss and encourage them. Life isn’t the same without those that have been a huge part of our lives. It is challenging to go on without them. They may have lost a mother, father, child, brother etc. Love and compassion will always win and bring healing. Love never fails. Sometimes, someone else’s arms and kind words mean the world to a grieving person. Just to know that someone cares that their heart hurts, means the world to those that have loved and lost. I encourage you to give those who have lost a love one, a hug. The Holy Spirit is the best comforter, however, let me encourage you to ask God how He might want to use you to be a gift to someone hurting this season. There are several widows I have called frequently this holiday season. Just to know someone is thinking about them and cares that their heart is struggling brings comfort. Being sensitive to others helps us be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and vice versa. Isaiah 9:6 says, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” God may want to use you to bring His peace to those who need compassion this holiday season. Let me encourage you to be sensitive to those around you. Psalm 147:3 says “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Hang on to the promises and enjoy the new adventures that await you. And don’t forget to look for people to bless with a hug.

Kathleen is a Hill Country writer, speaker and podcaster. She is passionate about helping people bring God into their everyday life. She can be reached at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. For more information, to listen to her podcast, or purchase her book, Thriving Through Seasons of Grief, visit her website, www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

#grief #healing #griefjourney #Jesus #Christmas #memeories #griefsupport

Giving thanks when nothing is going right

Giving thanks when nothing is going right By Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie Copyright Nov 12, 2021 “How on earth do I give thanks when I feel like life is so difficult and painful?” I muttered as I pondered everything going on in my life.

I was a tired mother of three children, a busy business owner with 250 clients, active in the church and community and my marriage was struggling. I was exhausted, to say the least. A day or two after I said the above question, my baby got pneumonia. This generated extra care for my little one, including frequent breathing treatments he despised and screamed through. A few days into the pneumonia battle, my daughter spent the night at a friend’s house and came home with lice. There was even more work for me, as if taking care of a house and three children was not enough. The next day, the school called and said my oldest son had pink eye. “Surely, God understood that I had enough on my plate and did not have time to be thankful,” I said to myself as I tended to my tasks. The truth is, God did understand, and he wanted to help me overcome the adversity I was facing. Some days in our life on this Earth are just awful. He does not engineer difficult circumstances just so he can produce good; however, he works within us and through us to bring us to a better place when we partner with him. “Help me Lord,” I prayed. I knew God was the only one I could depend on. The next morning, I opened my Bible and began reading II Corinthians 2:14, which reads, “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.” If you read the first part of the chapter, things were not easy for Paul; however, he had a confidence in God’s ability to overcome his challenges. I was encouraged, and several words stuck out to me as I read and reread this verse. • Thanks • Lead • Always • Triumphal procession I discovered I had to do my part — and that was to give thanks. I began to thank God for his ability to lead me to triumph and for my kids. I began to thank God for his love for me. My heart began to change. Thanksgiving adjusts our attitude. Next, I began to look to God and believe that he would lead me. I began to thank him for my husband, too, even though I was not really happy with him at the time. “God, I thank you for my husband and kids, thank you for your love, and thank you that you want to lead me and help me overcome,” I prayed. “I choose to believe you always work things together for my good, and I look to your ability, not my own.” Please note, I did not thank God for the difficulties but for what I could be thankful for and put my trust in him. In the days and months that followed Thanksgiving that year, the lice and the pink eye were gone from my house, even though these childhood plagues went through all three kids. My baby got over pneumonia. I continued to give thanks for my husband, and God began to work in both of our lives. I began to look to God to change things in our marriage, instead of me trying to change him. Our marriage began to heal, and it started with my heart changing first. Not long ago, I reread II Corinthians 2:14 and could see very clearly how God led me in triumphal procession, step by step. I had to smile at God’s faithfulness. Yes, there are still difficult days in my life; however, I am quick to give thanks and look for how God is going to lead me step by step to get the better of the situation. The great news is, when we partner with God, thank him and lean on him in difficult days, we are developing a testimony in our lives and a confidence in him. Others see that in our lives and are drawn to that fragrance. Right now is a good time to thank God for something in your life and partner with him. If you are having difficulty, ask him to help you develop thankfulness in your life. We can always thank him for being with us, helping us, and we can ask him to open our eyes to see how we can be changed and triumph.

#thanks #difficulty #attitude #grateful #adversity #givingthanksinadversity www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com 127,641

Adapting to your husband and investing in your marriage

Adapting to your husband and investing in your marriage Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie Copyright October 2021 I trade my heels, dresses and pearls for snake boots, gun, jeans and camouflage between Sept. 1 and Oct. 31. I also trade my purse for a bird bag. I spend every weekend riding around in a pick-up truck with my husband, checking on our dove hunters, occasionally hunting, and in the evenings, we are entertaining our lodge hunters. This has been my life in the months of September and October for the past nine year, and we just celebrated our ninth anniversary. I have loved the adventure of learning new things and am still learning to adapt to my husband, Stephen. He has had quite a few changes being married to me, too.

Good marriages do not just happen. They take work. My mom told me years ago, “Kathleen, if you are not working on your marriage, you are working against it.” I try to be intentional in looking for ways I can invest in my relationship with my husband. Spending quality time with your mate is very important to keep the relationship alive. We live in such a hectic society; however, it is vital for a husband and wife to take time for just the two of them. I was married 30 years to my late husband, Joe. Three years after he was gone, I married Stephen. I realized I could not put the same grid on our relationship as I had in my previous marriage. I had to study Stephen, learn about him and learn how to be his wife. One of my constant prayers is to be the wife he needs. Ephesians 5:22 (Phillips) reads, “You wives must learn to adapt yourselves to your husbands, as you submit yourselves to the Lord, for the husband is the ‘head’ of the wife in the same way Christ is head of the church and savior of the body.” It is important for a wife to study her husband and learn what is important to him, adapt accordingly, and what makes him feel loved and respected. Men are different, and this scripture is telling each of us as wives to adapt to our own husband. The word adapt means to make something suitable for a new use or purpose; modify, become adjusted to new conditions. My late husband was an investment banker who wore a coat and tie each day, worked 8 a.m.–5 p.m. and enjoyed spending weekends at home. My husband, Stephen, is a self-made man who owns several businesses and most days wears jeans, boots and a cowboy hat. His work schedule varies from 6 a.m. to sometimes late in the evening when his phone rings. Needless to say, I had some adapting to do when I remarried in 2012. Stephen is a very hard-working man and plays as hard as he works. When we first got married, I had to adjust to doing something most weekends. We are usually hunting, fishing, visiting with our friends, kids and grandkids, attending events, church, etc. I feel it is important at this stage in life that we find things we can do together to build our relationship. Men need respect, and women need to feel loved and cherished. One way I try to show my husband respect is really looking him in the eyes when we are talking. Another way I try to show him respect is by getting off the phone quickly when he comes in from work. I want him to know he is more important than anyone else in my life. I feel it honors him and shows him respect. The Message version of Ephesians 5:22 reads, “Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife, the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.” Submitting is not being a doormat. It is important for a wife to give her husband input on matters. It is submitting my ideas to him, because our marriage is a partnership, as well as a covenant. Sometimes I may not agree with Stephen. One of my favorite prayers when we do not agree is, “God change my heart or his.” This puts me in a win-win situation. I have seen God change my heart at times and other times, my husband’s heart. Men, it is imperative that you cherish your wife and do what makes her feel loved. A woman who feels cherished and loved will move mountains for her husband. Praying together is also a great building block in a marriage. It brings two people together for a common cause. I am not talking about long amounts of time — even a few minutes each day in prayer together is powerful. Praying with him lets me know what is on his heart and mind. Marriage is about two people walking together in life. Building your marriage is important, takes time, communication and forgiveness. It is never too late to invest in your relationship with your spouse. Strong marriages build strong families. Strong families make strong communities. Will you join me in investing in your relationship with your spouse? It might take a little time to see the results of your investment; however, it will be worth it. #marriage #marriageadvise #marriagegoals #marriedlife Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, a writer and speaker. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God. Beginning at 6:30 p.m. on Thursdays in October at The Kroc Center in Kerrville, she will begin leading her Bible study, “The Gathering: Bringing God into everyday life”. For more information or to register, contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. You can also purchase her book, Thriving Through Seasons of Grief on her website, www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com