God does not do shame

“Shame on you,” my grandmother said, as she shook her finger at me with a scowl on her face. I was about 9 years old, and those words cut to the core of my being, as I stood in her picture-perfect kitchen. I do not remember what I did wrong, but I do remember being confused about even getting in trouble for whatever upset her. All I could think about was getting away from her so I could cry. Our words carry power. What I remember was I had done something wrong in her eyes, and I just wanted to hide. I felt like a mistake and felt her intense displeasure with me. Now, I just wanted to go home. I was feeling the power of shame. Shame says, “You are a mistake,” instead of, “You made a mistake. Let me help you.” Shame makes people feel less than and devalued. Jesus paid a great price so we could be free from shame. Whenever we have done something wrong, the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin. His purpose is to bring us to repentance, not shame. In his great love, Jesus paid the price, so we do not have to live in shame. Romans 10:11 (NIV) states, “For scripture says, anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” When we realize we have made a little mistake or a huge one, God’s heart is that we recognize it, ask his forgiveness and the forgiveness of others if necessary, and walk in freedom. Ephesians 1:7 (NIV) tells us, “In him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” Once we repent, we can walk free of shame. God sent Jesus to take care of shame for us. Yes, we may struggle to walk free of the feelings of disgrace, but in God’s eyes we are loved and accepted. Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) instructs us, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” God’s grace and forgiveness are incredible gifts that each of us has an opportunity to enjoy. It begins with asking Jesus into our hearts, confessing our sin and believing he died for us and loves us. Isaiah 61:7 (NIV) tells us, “Instead of your shame, you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace, you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.” When we bring our shame to God, he gives us a double portion and joy. So why do people try to put shame on others, when they have missed the mark and done something wrong? I think there are two reasons: judgment and pride. And both of them are not part of a Christian’s our job description. Oftentimes people look at their sin and compare it to someone else and say, “I did this but I didn’t do something that bad.” Statements like this are rooted in judgment and pride. Matthew 7: 1 & 2 (NIV) warns us, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.” Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” I had to forgive my grandmother for the hurtful words she said many years ago. I later found out she was a very wounded woman and because of her wounds and her own failures and shame, she projected that on me and others. If you have shamed someone, I encourage you to ask for forgiveness. If you have been someone who has been on the receiving end of shame, forgive your offender. I pray for healing for your heart and for any lies you have believed about being a mistake to be erased. All of us mess up and can be embarrassed of our failures. Christ came to set us free, so get back up and walk in his grace and forgiveness. You do not have to walk in shame any longer. God sees you, loves you, forgives you and loves to restore the broken pieces of your life.

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, a podcaster, author, writer and speaker. Contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. You can also purchase her book, Thriving Through Seasons of Grief or listen to her podcast on her website, www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com #shame #freedom #Jesus #Christanity #hope #redeem

The Power of Gentleness

A number of years ago, I was asked to speak to a lady’s group in Comfort. Sometimes the organization has a particular topic or theme, and other times, they let me choose my message. In this situation, the topic was chosen. “Kathleen, we are studying the fruit of the spirit from the passage in Galatians 5:22,” the organizer of the event stated. “We want you to talk about gentleness.” “OK,” I reluctantly replied, as I did not see gentleness as a strong quality in my life. I personally felt more like a bull in a china closet than a gentle person; however, I knew God wanted to teach me some things about gentleness. Since that day 12 years ago, I’ve learned that gentleness is powerful, and I’ve learned to practice it. Gentleness is defined as being kind or tender, not harsh or severe. As a verb, it means calm. Gentleness is powerful humility. It means you are sweet-spirited and tenderhearted. When I think about people who have this character quality mastered, my heart is open to them. I feel loved and valued. I want to hear what they have to say. Gentleness opens the door to many possibilities. Gentleness is an attribute of Jesus. Matthew 11:29 (NIV) reads, “Come unto me all who are weary and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you for I am gentle and humble in heart.” Jesus was the mightiest man around, and yet, he describes himself as gentle and says gentleness is part of his identity. Scripture tells us we are made in his image. Gentleness is in all of us, and we can choose to practice it. When I partner with Jesus, or am yoked with him, gentleness provides rest for my heart. If you are running around uptight, stressed out, you might want to try practicing your gentleness. Gentleness is not weakness. It is strength under control. It is easy to get aggravated with someone because they do not see eye to eye with you. Anyone can be angry and tell someone off. That isn’t the way God treats us. When we choose to respond in gentleness, we demonstrate strength. One day, I was helping a client with a situation with her rent. I was trying to teach her to face her responsibility not run from it. I coached her on how to call her landlord, explain the problem and her plan to rectify the situation. She left my office to make the call, and the next thing I knew, she came barging into my workspace with big eyes, and I could hear someone yelling over the phone. It was the landlord, and she was angry. I asked to speak to the landlord. I identified myself, and the woman raised her voice at me. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind; however, I remembered what I had been learning about gentleness and decided to practice it. I listened for a while, lowered my voice several decimals below her voice and began to speak to her. When I did this, instead of raising my voice to match hers, the woman began to lower her voice a little. The next time I spoke, I got even quieter. She began to calm down, we had a good discussion, and my client got exactly what she needed. Gentleness demonstrates strength and combats harshness and anger. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) reads, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” I have found gentleness is a good offensive and defensive weapon in times of conflict. My husband and I are both pretty strong-willed people, and when we have a disagreement, I try practicing my gentleness. Fortunately, he is not the kind of man to yell, but in times of conflict, when I choose gentleness, it helps us come into agreement quicker. If you want to win a disagreement, you might try gentleness. Philippians 4:5 (NIV) reads, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” I have learned gentleness can quickly defuse tense situations and disarm people. It makes people feel valued, and it looks good on us when we practice it and wear it. I challenge you to join me in practicing gentleness.

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, a writer, author, podcaster, and speaker. Contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. You can also purchase her book, “Thriving Through Seasons of Grief,” or listen to her podcast on her website, www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

Finding joy when things are tough

Finding joy when things are tough Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie Jan 21, 2022 0

Joy. What exactly is it? As a noun, joy is a feeling of great happiness or pleasure. As a verb, it means to rejoice. It is an emotion that I feel God wants his children to have every day. Some days are simply more challenging than others, but I am discovering there is grace to access joy, when I choose to. This means that I am responsible for finding my joy if it is lost or appears to be hiding behind difficult circumstances. So, how do we find joy when life throws us a big curve ball and when we are enduring situations that continue to hurt or linger? I believe finding joy is dependent on our focus and taking our responsibility. James 1:2-5 reads, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” It is easy to be joyful when life is going like you like it, but most of us would agree that life doesn't always go like we plan. Not long ago, I was suddenly put in a situation that could have been a hornet’s nest if not handled delicately, and I could have been the one who was stung. It was a good thing I was studying the scripture in James about finding pure joy in trials. I quickly called a friend to pray and started the conversation laughing and with the words, “Oh my word, how could I be my life and how could I be in this situation?” I was laughing to keep from crying and was trying to find my joy, so I could handle the situation and come out a winner. Laughter is good medicine, and I knew my friend would understand. She did and laughed with me and prayed. Looking at how I could joyfully win in the situation instead of being overwhelmed helped me pass the test. Finding humor in tough things is helpful in finding our joy. Where we focus is vital in trials. Psalms 16:8-11 reads, "I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore, my heart is glad and my inner man rejoices and my body will rest secure. You have made known to me the path of life; you fill me with joy in your presence with pleasures at your right hand." This scripture tells us where to focus, setting the bigness of God and his ability before us. When we do this, it allows our heart to calm down. We rest, in that God is with us and will direct our path. And when we spend time with him, we find our joy. Joy is evidence of walking with God, because it is part of his character. Galatians 5 tells us that joy is one of the fruits of the spirit, which is part of who he is. He is always joyful, and he wants us as his kids to reflect his joy and be joyful. As a former gymnast and coach, I know how important focus is to maintain your balance when you are on a balance beam. The right focus is the difference in staying on and falling off. The same is true in life. If my focus is negative, fearful, my outlook and attitude will be, too. This scripture also says I am not alone. He is holding me by the right hand. When I picture myself holding his hand, I am much more confident and secure. I love the determination of the psalmist in Psalms 16 when he says, "I WILL not be shaken." Our will is a powerful thing that we can use in a positive or negative way. There have been many days I have had to live out of my will to do what is pleasing to God instead of what I feel like. Joy follows when our focus is right, when we hold his hand and when we set our will in a positive manner. When we turn our hearts to him, look at God with childlike wonder in how he is going to work it out, we find joy. I encourage you to take responsibility and find your joy.

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, a writer and speaker. Beginning at ^;30 p.m. Thursdays in February at The Kroc Center in Kerrville, she will lead her Bible study, The Gathering-Bringing God into Everyday Life. For more information or to register, contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. You can also purchase her book, “Thriving Through Seasons of Grief,” or listen to her podcast on her website, www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

Thriving Through Seasons of Grief by Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie

This book is for the broken hearted, the disappointed, and those picking up the pieces of their life. Full of true stories, easy to read and will give the reader hope and practical tools.

Now available on Amazon in paperback or on Kindle. #grief #hope #griefjourney #griefsupport #author #griefhelp #thrivingthroughseasonsofgrief

God's healing touch during the holidays

God’s healing touch during the holidays By Kathleen Maxwell-Rambie copyright 2021

Most of us think of the holidays as a time of celebration, gatherings with friends and family, and pretty lights. For others, the holidays only remind them of what is NOT in their lives anymore. Grief often shows up unexpected during this season triggering the pain that might have remained hidden the rest of the year. Christmas is full of memories and those precious memories tend to come to mind during this season. The good news is, God is with us in our pain and heals. I speak from experience. The things I have learned from walking through grief have been some of the best teachers in my life. Learning that no matter what I face, God holds my hand and is full of compassion, has given me great confidence and expanded my compassion for other people, which is priceless. God cares when our hearts hurt and wants to heal us. Psalms 34:17 (NIV) states “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” It may not feel like God is close in our pain, but the truth is, He has never been closer. As I have experienced Him guiding me, encouraging me and His kindness, it has made the above scripture very real. God relentlessly kept showing me He was right beside me. Too often, our feelings lie to us and in tough times, we feel like life is over, God has forsaken us, but we must believe the truth of God’s word and press through the feelings. If you are brokenhearted over losing a loved one, recently divorced or have experienced another loss, let me encourage you to ask God to open your eyes to see His nearness and to encourage your heart. I have done that and it works. You are precious to Him and He cares that your heart hurts. Six years ago, I lost of both of my parents before and right after the holidays. I was not looking forward to the first holiday without them, as they had been with me for more than 50 years. As I approached the holiday, instead of focusing on missing them, I began to wonder, what adventure would God had ahead for me. God is always good, and I’ve learned from losing my late husband that, when facing something new and different without a loved one, I could find comfort and joy, looking for the adventure and God’s goodness. Needless to say, it was different the first year without them, as I spent the holiday in Alpine, Texas, with my new husband on a 40,000-acre ranch, mule deer hunting and helping him with his hunting business, a side business he has done for years. The beauty and majesty of the area was breathtaking, and I missed a 10-point buck … I’ll get him one day! My dad loved West Texas, and it will always remind me of him. Enjoying something he loved so much brought me a smile. I’ve found joy in the differentness and enjoyed the challenge. Christmas can be challenging for those suffering from grief as it brings up so many memories. Oftentimes, these are memories of the good times we have shared with those we love. These memories bring the reality of our loss to the forefront of our minds. You may not be grieving this holiday season, but God may want to use you to be His arms of compassion and love. Often, people that are grieving just need people to affirm their pain and loss and encourage them. Life isn’t the same without those that have been a huge part of our lives. It is challenging to go on without them. They may have lost a mother, father, child, brother etc. Love and compassion will always win and bring healing. Love never fails. Sometimes, someone else’s arms and kind words mean the world to a grieving person. Just to know that someone cares that their heart hurts, means the world to those that have loved and lost. I encourage you to give those who have lost a love one, a hug. The Holy Spirit is the best comforter, however, let me encourage you to ask God how He might want to use you to be a gift to someone hurting this season. There are several widows I have called frequently this holiday season. Just to know someone is thinking about them and cares that their heart is struggling brings comfort. Being sensitive to others helps us be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and vice versa. Isaiah 9:6 says, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” God may want to use you to bring His peace to those who need compassion this holiday season. Let me encourage you to be sensitive to those around you. Psalm 147:3 says “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Hang on to the promises and enjoy the new adventures that await you. And don’t forget to look for people to bless with a hug.

Kathleen is a Hill Country writer, speaker and podcaster. She is passionate about helping people bring God into their everyday life. She can be reached at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com. For more information, to listen to her podcast, or purchase her book, Thriving Through Seasons of Grief, visit her website, www.kathleenmaxwellrambie.com.

#grief #healing #griefjourney #Jesus #Christmas #memeories #griefsupport