An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Friday, January 7, 2011

Upside Down and a Splash



January 6th 2011

2011 started with a big splash for me…I went down a 50 ft slide into the 44 degree water!  The Polar Bear Splash was a fundraiser for Christian Women’s Job Corps and was a huge success.  We had 100 sliders which is the most the event had ever had.  I have never done anything like that and all I can say is it was fun and very cold and above all I kept my crown on!  You can see pictures of the event at www.cwjckerrcounty.org

As I look at going from 2010 to 2011, I have come to the conclusion that EVERYTHING in my life has changed…from the world of cancer to the death of my mate, married to single, house full of people to living alone, role reversal with my parents…I am the parent now,  and then my hair dresser moves!  Oh My Gosh… nothing stays the same!  I have to get a stranger to fix my hair now!  Another major change in my world is that my assistant of 6 ½ years at the Christian Women’s Job Corps just retired at the end of 2010.  This was another big loss for me as Debbie Ridout has been my right hand…I even gave her Joe’s speed dial number on my cell phone after he was gone.    I always said that Joe and Debbie enabled me to do my job well…now I enter a new session at CWJC without both of  them. This is another grief as it is the end of a great season with a very significant person in my life. Sometimes I feel like a baby totally upside down and squeezed in an unknown world.  Birth is the only time it is normal to be standing on our heads!  Deep down I know something is being birthed in me…a new life yet to be discovered.  “Focus and breathe Kathleen,” I tell myself…

 I know I am in a huge transition time in my life at several levels but I know God is in all of it.  Transition is defined as moving from one place to another.  It can give up wisdom and broaden our horizons.  I have a tremendous opportunity for growth and change…I just forget it sometimes and wonder how on earth I am going to live through  it!  I am also learning that where the stress is…God’s anointing is also present for me.  For example, yesterday I had a girl walk into CWJC and want some information.  I normally don’t leave my office to handle things like this but my new assistant was busy so I greeted the young girl and shared about our program.  She said she didn’t know if she could commit to a 12 week program as she had a lot going on.  As she finished her sentence her lip began to quiver.  I asked her if I could give her a hug and she said yes hesitantly and then sobbed in my arms.  She then told me she was interested in CWJC  because she had seen such a change in her sister who graduated recently.  I gave her an application and instructions and then asked her if I could pray for her before she left.  She said, “oh would you please?”  As I prayed she wept and then I felt to ask her if she had ever invited Jesus to be Lord of her life.  She said, “No but I want to.”  I led her in a prayer to accept Christ.  What a way to start 2011!  I may be upside down but I do feel His presence and favor surrounding me. 

My dad is weak but is slowly getting stronger.  He was not doing well Monday and I thought I would have to return to the hospital but prayer and a few phone calls saved the day.  I don’t like watching those I love suffer…You would think that I would be use to it and I am but I don’t like it.  It takes a lot out of me.  I have been doing it for 7 years and I am tired…ready for a new season.

Upside down but it is ok

Kathleen

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