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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Hospitals, Kids, and Wise Men

December 28, 2010

 My dad went into the Tex San Heart Hospital on December  20th and I brought him home today.  They were unable to put the stint in as the blockage was rock hard and bypass was not an option for him.  This has caused his heart to have some fibrillation problems and finally they decided to put a defibrillator in.  I am very aware that the roles have been reversed as my parent have aged.  With mom needing full time care and dad in the hospital it took my brother and sister me to all juggle life to help out.  Since Joe passed away 14 months ago, one of our parents has been in the hospital 7 times…I really do feel right at home in the hospital setting but I wear out quite quickly.  I have noticed I seem to function well in the crisis but my body and heart feel the affects later…at times I feel like my heart is being jerked around…   One day while at the hospital I had a vision of this big hand and I was right in the center being held.  It was comforting and I love how the Holy Spirit ministers to me in the middle of all the uncertainty I encounter.

I have totally loved having my kids home and all the commotion that 5 extra people in the house brings!  The boys have been big hunters and have taken the challenge of bow hunting.  They got two deer and made jerky.  My kitchen frequently looked like the local meat market!   At 1:30 on Christmas I finally took off my nurse hat and ventured to buy things for our traditional Mexican Christmas dinner and our Christmas Day meal.  Mallory was a big help and I had fun cooking with her.  Even though my dad was in the hospital, I tried very hard to keep things as normal as possible complete with our traditions as this was our first Christmas at home without Joe.  We had lots of laughter and our traditional Christmas Eve reading of the birth of Jesus.  We also shared what God had done in our lives this past year.   I stand amazed again at the goodness of God to all of us.  I saw only a couple of tears and I personally only got choked up when I opened the cookbook for the eggnog Joe always made.  We’ve come a long way since last year.  Yea God!

I was thinking the other day about how when the wise men saw the baby Jesus they saw The King, not a baby.  Others did not recognize Jesus true identity.  That problem still occurs today.  Many of us do not see others true identity.  In other words, we look at each other with natural eyes, see faults and don’t see each other or their potential thru the eyes of God.  I am guilty too of seeing people with natural eyes instead of seeing their potential and seeing them the way God does.  But I do frequently ask God to show me how He sees others and to give me His view of them so I can help them discover their God given value and be part of the restoration process.  I also ask God to help me see myself the way he sees me.  He recently took me to Deuteronomy 7:6, “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God.  The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.  That is how He sees you and me…a treasured possession.  Imagine how cool the body of Christ would be if we began to relate to one another according each persons potential and treating one another as a treasured possession.  The world might really see who Jesus really is in us!

Ok…2010 is almost over and I will begin the New Year going down a huge slide into the Guadalupe River…pretty crazy but oh well…Thanks so much for all the prayers for all of us during the holiday season.  Your prayers really made a big difference.

Love to all,


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