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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Friday, April 15, 2011

Still Sining, Still In Hospitals, Still Pressing On

The sound of my cell phone ringing at 4:30 am startled me and made me suddenly jump for the phone.  My father was on the other end of the line saying, “Kat, I am in an awful lot of pain and I can’t move.  I need to go to the hospital.”  “I’ll be right there dad,” was my reply and I quickly threw on my blue jean skirt I had failed to hang up the night before, put the dog out, grabbed bottled water and my computer and jumped in the car.  Water and my computer...I knew what is ahead and what I needed.  My father is not a complainer and the daddy in him still tries to protect me since Joe has been gone.  He is tough and I could tell from the day before he wasn’t doing well.
As I drove, I called EMS to meet me and the caregiver so I didn’t have to take my mother.  EMS got there minutes after I arrived and they put my father on the stretcher while I reassured my mother that I would take good care of daddy.  After hours in the emergency room, his doctor came in and said he had a severe strain in his back and he would also take care of his GI tract problem...I wasn’t convinced this was correct and told the doctor my dad had fallen early in March, complained of pain and had declined since.  I asked for an orthopedic evaluation and second opinion.  About 7:00 pm it was concluded he had a compression fracture in his spine.  
After 14 hours at Sid Peterson Hospital I was very weary.  I called my daughter and talked to her for a while.  Weariness got the best of me and was causing me to loose hope for a new life and making me feel like hospitals and doctors sick people were my future.  She patiently listened for a while and then sweetly said, “Can you do me a favor and find my mother?”  “What?” I replied.  “I do not know who I am talking to because what you are saying is going against everything you have ever taught me.”   “Read Romans 8 Mom.”   I was busted!  I have lived long enough for my children to preach to reap what you sow!  She was right and I learned a good lesson.  Weariness is not my friend; it can lie to me, cause one to loose hope, and distort the future.  Rest is vital and I must guard it.

Thankfully we got to the root of the problem and he is having the surgery as I type to cement the fracture.  He has several other issues and they are saying he will have two weeks of rehab there or at a nursing home.
I am concluding that there is more for me to inherit in the continual hospitals visits and the hard things I have had to face and let go of.  Suffering is not fun; but  as Graham Cooke says, “God allows in his wisdom what he could prevent in his power. “  Suffering develops compassion and that is always good.  Many lack  compassion and are quick with answers instead of being sensitive to people.  Jesus was moved with compassion and that was the bedrock of His ministry. Many in the body of Christ need to grasp this truth.  

I am learning to press on no matter what.  Life goes on.  Seasons come and seasons go, and He is Lord of them all.  I balance  my life with rest, my parents affairs, my kids, friends, different people God sends to me to minister to, lots of walks, working out at the gym, enjoying my convertible, swing dancing, writing for the local newspaper - my article appears on Friday in the Kerrville Daily Times.  I love long mornings on my deck with my coffee, my cat Charlie, my watch dog Maggie and the two writers groups I am a part of.  I love swing dancing in San Antonio and go with a couple as often as I can. We are the older ones at Sam’s Burger Barn as most the dancers are younger.   It is a lot of fun and good exercise.  Last week I danced with 10 different guys!  I teach Joe Maxwell to leave me!  This is not my life...
Still Singing, In Hospitals and Pressing On-


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