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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Two Year Mark

     I stand amazed at God. I have had a great week which began when I lead a young man to the Lord. I love watching God touch hearts with his healing and love and forgiveness. It was awesome! God has also opened doors to pray with many others just as I live my life each day. I am more and more aware that the harvest is here and many are waiting for the sons and daughters of God to rise up and show the world His love. Far to many times, Christians try to preach to the world and I think the world simply needs us to model the love of Jesus. Love never fails and always remember- 
    The past two years of living with a broken heart has taught me much about dealing with the brokenhearted. I will never be the same (thank God!) and am thankful for this opportunity. There is no easy way to learn difficult things. It takes a lot of effort. I know I am and will be more effective in the days ahead because of the lessons I have learned.
     Yesterday was Mallory's 27th birthday. I smiled yesterday morning and thanked God I wasn't in labor! I believe I have the best daughter ever. She was a delight to raise and has brought much joy to our lives. I feel so blessed that we have a great relationship and I love it now that she is grown and we are friends. We celebrated her birthday going to dinner and having a party with her friends.
     Today marks the two year anniversary of when Joe left this earth. I really cannot believe I have lived two years without him. They have been the hardest two years of my life...I miss my best friend, lover, cheerleader, confidant, the one I am able to verbally process with, and the one who always saw my potential and believed in me. The loss of the above has been huge and I can say it has taken every bit of energy I possess to keep walking ahead to my dreams. There have been days I have sobbed laying face down on the floor, nights my body has literally ached from the pain of missing him, and yet I have discovered the love of God at a whole new level. It has been a good day.
     There has been a peace and settling in my heart and I have surprised myself in that I have celebrated Joe's life and not shed a tear today. Yea God! Being with Mallory, Rob and Price is always a deposit in my bank. I see Joe in both of them. The only thing that would have made today better would have been to have Austin and Laura with us too. Life goes on and I am thankful for all of you that have prayed for us and carried all of us with your love.
Yea God!

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