An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Monday, June 7, 2010

Celebration, Closure and Releasing the Pause Button

We are now 5 weeks away from Mallory’s wedding and the fun and excitement is beginning. It is a wonderful feeling to see your kids grow up, excel in their God given talents and love God with all their hearts. Did I tell you all of Mallory’s kids in her class passed the TAKS test? She is wonderful with kids! Austin and Laura came in Saturday afternoon. They are on their way to the next tour of duty he will have going from California to Maryland. All of a sudden my quite house had 5 extra people and two extra dogs! What fun! Saturday evening we were all able to attend a party given in Mallory and Rob’s honor and that was a lot of fun.

Sunday morning was a beautiful morning and was the first opportunity we had had as a family to have some closure with Joe’s ashes. It was Joe’s request that we go to the Guadalupe River and sprinkle his ashes in the river. I remember him saying, “I am a Hill Country man and I love the Guadalupe. The river represents life so sprinkle my ashes there because I will still be living.” That is what we did. It was a sweet time as we all waded into the water, listened to “You Are Faithful” and several other songs that were meaningful. Then Austin and I said a few words. Tears flowed as each of us took turns sprinkling his remains into the crystal clear water. God’s peace covered all of us like a warm blanket and it was a good time of closure. The remainder of the day we spent having fun as a family as we knew Joe would have wanted that.
This morning I got a text message from a friend that said, “enjoy this new day and have a safe trip.” It is a new day in many ways. I boarded a plane to Dallas Texas where I will be a trainer for Christian Women’s Job Corps. A year and a half ago I got my certification as a national trainer but have been unable to teach others because of Joe’s illness. I felt like the pause button has been released from my life. As painful as the last week was for me grief wise, I feel like I have had a break thru. I am healing, pressing on and feel God putting more pieces of the puzzle of my life together. I am pursuing something I am passionate about and am excited to train others to do what I do at CWJC.

It is a new season and I am confident in Him and know He loves me dearly. He is a defender of the widows. Did I tell you that our entire neighborhood lost electricity last week but mine did not go out? He is a great husband and cares for me well. Yea God!

Walking in Peace,

Kathleen

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