Living In Transition

Going Away Party- some of my kids

     The past few weeks have been very fast and amazing for me. I finished my time with BCFS Health and Human Services YouthBuild and said goodbye to the kids I had learned to love so much. It has been neat to see  many of them obtain their GED and get jobs. As the Education and Career Specialist, I coordinated GED registration, job shadowing, jobs for them as well as doing anything a mother would do. The kids all called me Mama Max. I really was just their cheerleader.
     I have worked some very long hours wrapping up my duties with being in the middle of GED testing and kids getting jobs. Our students are now working with local businesses like Wells Fargo, JMLowe Construction, Subway, Fox Tank and more. I am so proud of all of them!
  They gave me a going away party that was real sweet. I had numerous opportunities to pray with these young people at different times as God opened doors. Although I will be in another department at the same company, they have instructed me to keep connected with the kids as it is so important when trust is built, to still be that stable trusted connection in their lives. They don't need another person walking out of their lives. I totally agree and will stay connected. Relationships  and communication are key to the success of any organization or ministry.

YouthBuild helps Mama Max with her new furniture

New Office

     My new position as Development Officer has challenged me as I have had many new things to learn. Transition seems to be where I am living but I have convinced myself that constant change keeps me growing. My first week took me out of town to BCFS HHS Lubbock Transition Center to meet the staff and learn about their programs. This week I went to Abilene Transition Center and met the staff and helped host a coffee with influential women in the community. It is exciting to be a part of an organization that reaches out to at risk youth and orphans of communities to help any young adult 16-25 transition into  the adult world.  My job will be raising community awareness of the services offered, developing support thru in- kind donations,  coordinating fundraising events and recruiting volunteers. I am excited about the opportunities ahead.

My beautiful daughter

     I have also gotten a chance to have a little rest the past few weekends. I have done some fun things with friends and family. I have actually been gone 9 days in the past few weeks between work and weekend trips. Last weekend, Mallory and Rob came in for less than 24 hours but it was so good to see them. Price came in from a Spring Break trip to Florida and then left for the Texas coast. Don't ask me to explain it... I love my time with my kids.  Mallory looked at the back yard and said, "Mom, dad would not like all those thistles in the back yard." She was right, but I can only do so much. Joe was meticulous about his yard. She and Rob pulled weeds while I cooked lunch.  We all miss the life we had with Joe but keep pressing thru the waves of grief.
     I also had my dad in the emergency room  and in the cardiologist office with congestive heart failure. He has been retaining water. Mother has had some falls recently but I am convinced they both have well over 9 lives.

     This week I felt God tell me my life was just beginning. I feel that I am stepping into my new life in more ways than one. I am not sure what it looks like yet but I feel it coming. Spring has come. It has been a long haul, but God has been faithful each step of the way. Yea God!

Do You See With Eyes Of Judgement or Compassion?

Kerrville Daily Time Article

by Kathleen Maxwell

How do you see others? Do you see their faults instead of the good in them? Are you quick to see someone and make a judgement about them and their situation verses asking God how he sees them? If so, you might need to take another look, perhaps consider some new spiritual glasses and seeing with the eyes of God.

I have recently been studying the passage in I Samuel 1 as part of a class. It has challenged and encouraged me. I Samuel is about Hannah, her husband, Elkanah, Eli the priest and Pininnah-Elkanah’s other wife. To set the stage, if you haven’t heard the story, Pininnah had many sons and Hannah had none. Yearly, they made a trip to worship and make a sacrifice. I Samuel 1:5 says, “But to Hannah, Elkanah gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb.” (NIV) What stood out to me is that Hannah was dearly loved and her husband had great compassion for her. He didn’t love her for what she could give to him, he simply loved her. This is a good thing for any husband to consider. I had a man that loved me well for 30 years before he passed away and I will certainly not settle for anything less in the future.

Notice from the scripture that God closed Hannah’s womb. God, in his great wisdom, had not allowed Hannah to conceive. For some reason, this was His design for her — He had called her to a special task. He doesn’t state why. “Why?” is not the key question, “what?” is a much better question. The question I have learned to ask is “What can I learn from this situation, God?” instead of “Why me?” I recently felt God say to me personally when I was questioning Him about something in my life, “Kathleen, when I design something, it is beautiful because I designed it.” Case closed. He is God and I am not. My opinion needed to change, not his.

I Samuel 1:6 says, “And because the Lord had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year.”(NIV) Pininnah was giving Hannah more grief than she already had. Hannah was already struggling with her identity as a woman, the grief of infertility and then the other woman rubs it in her face. Perhaps you have someone in your life like that? I know I have struggled in my own grief at times and had people unknowingly (at least I choose to believe they were not intentional) add more pain to my plate. Pininnah was what I call Hannah’s grace grower. Hannah had a choice in how to react to her rival. Hannah’s name actually means “gracious.” I believe Hannah did not react in her flesh, but allowed her grace grower to make her more gracious. Hannah used her problem to develop her character.

We can all learn from this example.

When I am gone from this earth, I want to be known as a woman that loved others well. I have a personal value statement that is, “I am what I love, not what loves me.” It is a decision that I have made that defines me. I have grace growers, also known as irritating people in my life, and sometimes I have to preach to myself and say, “ Kathleen, you gotta love ‘um.” It is my way of reminding myself that any other behavior is not acceptable for me. 

I have also been known to ask God “just give me five minutes in the flesh and I could handle this.” He never gives me permission which is a good thing as I am sure I would regret it.

I Samuel 1:10 says, “In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.” (NIV) Hannah went to the temple to pour out her grief to the Lord. She made a wise choice to go to church and worship in her grief, however, her grief was misinterpreted. The religious leader didn’t see what God saw. Eli made a quick judgement, thought Hannah wasn’t in her right mind and thought she was drunk. At a time when she needed comfort and encouragement he totally misunderstood the anguish of her soul. In Eli’s defense, how could he understand the pain of a woman’s barrenness? On the other hand, there are people that come to church, searching for help to get through another day.  This is a good reminder to all of us to ask God, “How do you see this person, and how can I encourage them?” Everyone needs understanding and encouragement.

Hannah responds to Eli’s accusation with, “Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of the great anguish and grief.” Not only was she heart sick that she couldn’t have a baby but she was also being tormented by her rival.  Eli had no idea what was really going on in her life and misunderstood her. His judgement made her feel worthless when she was already struggling with her identity as a woman.  This had to feel like an insult to injury as Eli was someone in the church she trusted. We must not make a judgement about what we see on the outside.

I believe God is calling all of us to a higher standard of stepping back in our spirit and asking God how he sees someone instead of making a quick assumption with our natural eye and out of our limited experience. What Hannah really needed was encouragement and compassion. I know that sometimes in my hurried life, I have been guilty of making a judgement from a snapshot of someone and giving a quick statement when I should have asked God what I could say to encourage and comfort someone. Jesus was moved with compassion. When we see someone with the eyes of God we see them with affection, we see the best in them and see them through the eyes of love.

Our community is a retirement community, and we have many widows and widowers. It is imperative that we comfort and encourage  those that have lost someone they love as they attempt to make a new life and redefine themselves as single individuals. As a widow of two years, I have had people comfort me and encourage me to pick up the pieces of my life. I am forever grateful for those friends.  Like Hannah, I have also felt at times my grief has been misunderstood by those that have not experienced the loss of a mate or the depth of my personal anguish. The misunderstanding has added more pain for me to dig through at a time when I really didn’t need anymore pain. 

We must first see ourselves as God sees us before we can see others as God sees them. When we see as He sees, we give people the power to become better people. We see the treasure in them instead of what is worthless in them. Imagine how different our community would be if we saw and treated people like God. The Hill Country would be amazing. 

Will you repent today of making a quick snapshot judgement of others and ask God to reveal truth to you? Will you join me in looking for those you can comfort and encourage instead of misunderstanding them and judging them? I can’t wait to see what  Kerrville will become. It will be amazing!

I have had a lot going on recently and am amazed at God and how his kindness has overwhelmed my life.   Not long after the first of the year, I was standing in the back of my church during worship and uttered a simple prayer, "God, I just need a word of encouragement today. I need to hear something specific." 30 seconds after I spoke those words to God, a woman 3 rows in front of me walked back to me and said,
" The Lord wants you to know that your winter is over and your spring has come. Are you  ready for your new life?" I just wept at the words and how quickly God met me that day. I tucked the words away in my heart but it has been amazing how there has been a new season in my life in many ways.

I've seen God open doors and bless me at work and in my personal life in only ways that He could. I have  had the opportunity to date and that has been fun. God spoke to me soon after Joe died and said that there were people he wanted me to touch in my single life that I wouldn't have the opportunity to touch any other time in my life. Let me say to date at 52 is a new adventure and it takes energy to press on. I've seen Him work and i have certainly been blessed.

Another blessing is I have gotten a promotion at work. . My time at BCFS YouthBuild will come to an end this Friday as I have accepted  a position as the Division Development Officer for BCFS.  I am still working for the same nonprofit but will be moving into a management position. I am excited about the new position and have been quite busy wrapping things up with the kids I have been working with. We have had GED testing recently and I have been coordinating job shadowing as well as helping 8 YouthBuild clients obtain jobs.

My life has been so different than it was several years ago. I had a husband, worked with all women and had a staff of women. Lately I have had no husband, worked with a staff of 4 men and 20 plus young men! I would say, "God I am not connecting the dots but I know you are in all of this and I am where I am where you want me." After months of simply trusting, I am seeing the dots connecting.

My experience with BCFS YouthBuild has prepared me for my new position and what God has in store for the next chapter of my like. My new position will involve some travel as well as raising the community awareness of the many wonderful programs BCFS Health and Human Services provides for young people, many that are orphans in one way or another for various reason.

It is a new season and I will have to say I have laughed more in the past month than I have in years. Yea God! He is so faithful to sustain the widows and the orphans and makes all things new.

I have laughed more in the past month than I have in the past few years. I really feel somehow, someway, my spring has finally come. I feel like my feet are under me again. It has been a wonderful adventure seeing God's faithfulness to heal my heart and delight it too.

In memory of Joe - A man that loved life.
Born February 22, 1957

Are You Waiting For The Clouds To Break Or The Sun To Shine

Kerrville Daily Times

February 17th, 2012

Kathleen Maxwell

 Where are you right now in your life? Are you in a difficult situation or a low spot? Are you trying to just keep your head above the water as the storm rages? Do you feel all alone and caught in the waves? You are not alone, trust me. I am 52 and don’t know much, but know there are seasons in all our lives that challenge us. It is just part of life here on earth.

     I recently came across a passage I memorized years ago when I was waiting for God to bring sunshine into my life again. The clouds seemed dark at the time and the storm seemed to rage for a while. Psalms 130 was chapter I hung on to  while I waited for the waves to subside. The good news is that  the sun did shine again in my life but it took a while for the clouds to break and dawn to come. In the time in between  was waiting...

     Psalms 130 begins with, “Out of the depths I cry to you O Lord; O Lord hear my voice. Let your ear be attentive to my cry for mercy.” (NIV) The Psalmist was in a dark place and I believe was verbally processing where he was, reminding God of his plight; like Almighty God didn’t know.  I am a verbal processor so I understand the conversation. He was reminding God that he was in a dark place and was waiting to see the kindness of God. I have had some of those same conversations with God myself; I just said it a little differently. My version went something like, “Seriously God, I don’t think I can make it much longer. I know you love me and are kind but I am tired.” I believe God loves it when we are honest with our feelings and tell him. He loves relationship with us just like I do with my three adult children. I love it when they share their hearts on a matter and tell me how they see things.

     Often times in adversity, people blame God or feel he is punishing them. Psalms130:3 is a reminder that God doesn’t hold our sins against us  when we confess them. I love The Message interruption of Psalms 130:3-4, “If you God kept records of wrongdoings, who would stand a chance? As it turns out, forgiveness is your habit, and that’s why you’re worshipped.” (The Message Bible) When I read this passage, I had to ask myself if I had a good habit of forgiving people. It was a good reminder to make it a habit, not an occasional event. Right there is the reason we all need to worship God more; simply because he does not hold our past against us. Whooo whoo! Do you daily thank God that He doesn’t hold your past against you? How do you treat those that have wronged you? Do you treat them with kindness or contempt? Do you hold the past against them?

     Psalms 130: 6 states, “My wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.”  I feel the Psalmist is preaching to himself here. I do that a lot. In the stormy times we have the word to hang on to and we need to remind ourselves of the truth.  Wait in this passage is translated “to bind, to twist, to expect, to collect.”  In the waiting time we have the opportunity to bind ourselves to God, to develop faith as we we put our expectation in Him and collect things necessary for the next part of the journey. Waiting is a gathering time.

     Then the writer of Psalms reminds us to put our hope in the Lord for with Him is unfailing love and FULL redemption. What a promise to hang on to! Redemption means recovery, saving, or honoring. Sometimes the salvation in the storm comes as God guides us through the rain. Other times He rescues us. One thing is for sure, He is always loving us and right there. 

     The longer I walk with God, the more I am aware of His presence with me. His presence has become my security blanket and gives me confidence to step out and walk on the water. An awareness of God’s presence didn’t just come from reading the scripture. I had done that for years. It didn’t come from listening to a good sermon. I knew the verses and had them memorized. An awareness of His presence came as I waited on God, looked to Him to guide me through the storms of heartache, betrayal, disappointments. It came as I faced life altering illnesses with loved ones and as I put my hope in Him. An awareness of His unfailing love came as I poured out my heart in anguish in the depths of despair and wondering if I could survive. Sermons, memorizing, reading often don’t change us. It is as we take the word and apply it and develop an experience with God that the word becomes life and truth to us. Experience makes us rich when we learn from it. Our experience is invaluable. It makes us who we are and gives us authority.

     Isaiah 30:18 sums things up and declares that we are blessed when we wait on God. It says, “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion, For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!” ( NIV)

     Crying out to God, hanging on when we want to give up, reminding ourselves of truth , waiting on God’s redemption and putting our hope in Him is good for us. It strengthens us and enlarges us; therefore, our challenges become our opportunities to grow. The growth is often not easy but one day we will experience His full redemption of the situation. What do you need to do? Cry out, wait, make forgiveness a habit, preach to yourself or hope? Pick one and get started! Just do it... He is waiting on you. Are you just waiting or are you waiting on Him?

     

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, educator, writer and speaker. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God and their value. You can contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com and on her blog www.themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com

     

     

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait On God's Plan

Kerrville Daily Times Article

February 3rd, 2012

     For the last several months, my dad has asked me to write about waiting on God. Perhaps he thinks I will learn something new if I study the subject or thinks I need to practice waiting. I haven’t asked him but I decided I would embark on the subject. In some ways I don’t feel qualified to write about the subject although in other ways I feel l have much experience.

     I remember hearing that waiting is the condition that God allows  to prepare us for what He has to give us. It is also defined as the act of staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens. Waiting is confident expectation of good. 

     Here in America we live in an instant microwave society. Most people don’t like waiting and yet I find in scripture God values patience and waiting. We look for the shortest line to get into at the store and frequently get upset if we have to wait longer than expected. God on the other hand, finds value in waiting. 

     Look at Abraham and Sarah. They waited many years for a son. I have to believe that Abraham developed into a mighty man of God in the waiting. God is too good to make Abraham wait for no reason. Abraham was noted as a man of great faith in Hebrews 11. 

      One might ask the question, “why on earth would God have us wait?” I believe the answer is found in Isaiah 40:31. It says, “But they who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk, and will not faint.” The word wait is translated a little different than one might expect. Wait in this passage means to bind or twist; to stretch to be strong. Wow! When we wait on God, not just wait, we bind ourselves closer to him. Waiting stretches us to be stronger in our faith. Waiting produces endurance.

      There is a big difference in just  waiting and waiting on God. When our lives are committed to Him, waiting has a different meaning. The waiting has purpose and isn’t wasted time. That is good news for someone like me who hates to waste time.

     About twenty years ago, my late husband and I had been through a difficult time in our relationship. Working thru the obstacles took time, a lot of work and dedication to make our marriage work. I remember driving past a billboard during that season. The billboard said, “Good things come to those who wait.” I impatiently muttered to God, “I am tired of waiting.”  Months went by and my husband and I decided to renew our wedding vows. It was a sweet time of committing ourselves to one another again. As we traveled to another city for a honeymoon weekend we went past the billboard that I didn’t like. Instead of, “Good things come to those who wait” it said, “Wait no more.” I knew it was a new beginning for us and God was sending me a new message honoring the waiting time. 

     The time of waiting for God to heal our marriage strengthened our relationship. It was hard but it helped us work thru some things that hindered the closeness we longed for. The waiting time also made both of us cling to God or bind to him more. Delays are not denials. They are God’s way of developing determination or endurance. Psalms 27:14 says, “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he will strengthen your heart. Wait, I say on the Lord.” (KJV) God would never tell us to do something if it wasn’t good for us. Waiting on God is good for us! 

      Waiting on God allows us the opportunity to rest.  Rest and waiting are not inactivity. Resting and waiting allows confidence to come. Rest provides strength and enables us to endure.Endurance is key in any race. Anyone can start a race but not as many finish strong.  Psalms 37:7 says, “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him.” God tells us how to wait...patiently. He desires that we develop patience because he is extremely patient. Far too many Christians focus on the power of God verses the character of God. He desires us to be like Him but often times that character is developed in the soil of adversity. How patient are you? Are you resting or fretting? Are you impatient in your waiting?

     David talked to himself in Psalms 62:5. “My soul, wait thou only upon
God; for my expectation is from him.” (KJV) How many times do we put our expectation in others or things? I know I am guilty of putting my expectation in others verses putting my expectation in God.

     God promises rewards when we wait on him. I love Isaiah 64:4 which says, “Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear perceived or eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him.” We have promises waiting for us when we wait on God. Good things come to those who wait! We are in a win win situation when we wait. The question we all face is “who do you wait on and how do you wait?” Will you join me in waiting on God with confident expectation? I can’t wait to hear how you will be strengthened and what He will do for you! Let me know!

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, educator, writer and speaker. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God and their value. You can contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com and on her blog www.themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com