Hope For Widows and the Basics of

Christianity

Kerrville Daily Times Article

July 2012

    About six months ago, I got a phone call  about 4 pm from a woman whose world was suddenly turned upside down. “Kathleen, this is Susie,” she stated. “I need your help.” she continued. This friend knew I worked and normally called in the evening to visit, when she called. I knew in my heart that something must be wrong. “Susie, is everything okay?” I asked. “No, Bill is dead. I just got the call he collapsed and he is gone,” she calmly said. “No!” I responded with a loud voice. I did not want anyone to experience the pain I had experienced as a widow. Since that day when my friend called for help, I have had several other acquaintances  that have lost their mate.  I hate it for all of  them and my heart is tender towards them.

     None of us have any guarantees in life. Bad things do happen to good people and it is in our broken places, that God’s love, grace and hope peeks in to see us through the pain of life. In the mean time, we all have our place in history. For some of us, it is to push through with all we have in us to live life again. For others, we have a mandate that are the basics of Christianity to help those that are in distress or hurting.

     If you have lost a mate and are a widow or widower, take heart. There are some wonderful promises in scripture for us. If you have not, you have a wonderful opportunity to be a doer of the Word of God. 

     This is dedicated to all my friends that have become widows or widowers. Take heart. You are dear to the heart of God! It is easy to feel alone, lonely, and wonder where you fit in now that you are no longer married. All these feelings are natural as part of you, is now gone. Scripture says that when we marry, we become one; therefore, when a mate leaves this earth, part of you is missing and thus the journey of discovering your your place in society and your identity single.

     i have come across several scriptures that have held me together and helped me press on in my own journey as a widow. Psalms 68:5 proclaims God’s character and says, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing.” (NIV) The basic nature of God is compassion and for those that find themselves in ashes.  His heart is tender for those that are fatherless, for whatever reason, he will defend the widow and he cares for those that are lonely. God even has a heart for those that are in prison and will lead them to a place of singing if they follow him. Wow! Now that is good news! I have personally seen how God has defended me in situations since I no longer have my husband to protect me and look out for my best interest. Knowing I have a special place in the heart of God gives me great comfort.

     How about you? Are you a defender of widows and the fatherless? Are you being an advocate for them or praying for them? Are you compassionate and offer to help or include them? You are made in the image of God, so that heart is in you. You just need to exercise it.

     Another passage that is a favorite of mine is Psalms 146:9, which says, “The Lord watches over the alien, and sustains the fatherless and widow...” (NIV) When I first read this passage, I looked up the word sustain to find out it’s meaning. Sustain means to prolong, keep up, strengthen or support physically or mentally. There were times I didn’t think I could make it with having the responsibility of everything all alone after 30 years of sharing everything with a partner. It wasn’t that I could not do tasks that my husband did, for me it was balancing everything alone from work, single parenting, finances, caring for my elderly parents, the house, the yard and the trash, just to name a few. I still wish the trash fairy would drop by my house and take the trash out! Sometimes a kind neighbor will bring my trash cans  back to my house as I am not the fastest on the block in bringing them back to the garage. There were days I when I didn’t think I could make it that I would remind God that he promised to sustain the widows. I am still alive and here to tell you it is true. He has sustained me, kept me up, kept me going, and strengthened me.

     Isaiah 1:17 is another promise and reflection of the heart of God. It states, “Seek justice, encourage the  oppressed, Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.” Again we see what God has to say about what is important to him. If it is important to God, it should be important to me. For the widow, you can hang on to how special you are to the heart of God. There have been times I have prayed and asked God to send someone to plead my case and help me. I had a situation recently with my dryer being broken and was having to go thru a lot of red tape to get it fixed as it was under warranty. I asked God for help and  the assistant to the president of the company over saw my case and came to my defense after weeks of waiting. Ask God to raise up those that will defend you.

      With Kerrville being a retirement community, there are plenty that need us to fight for, defend and plead their case. How about you? Do you encourage those that are oppressed by sin, discouraged by circumstances, do what is right in business, help the child whose dad is in prison or parent has abandoned them thru divorce or death? Do you help the widow in your neighborhood or church? Have you even asked what you might do to help in some way? 

     Exodus 22:22 is  another reflection of God’s heart. It proclaims, “Do not take advantage of a widow or orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused and I will kill you.” (NIV) It is a good thing we live by grace and not law anymore! This scripture shows us that God hears the cry of the orphan and the widow. His heart is  particularly soft towards them and is a just God. He does not tolerate treating them unjustly. 

      James 1:27 gets right to the point about what is important in our Christian walk. It says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and  faultless is this; to look after the orphans and widows in their distress...” (NIV) It is just that simple. Sometimes in our busy world, we forget to to the basics of life. We can get caught up in all our ministry goals, busy lives, bible studies, committees etc. and forget what God says is pure and what is right. Whom do you need to help in your church or neighborhood? Is there a foster child, a child without a mom or dad, a widow or widower that needs you to include him or her in your lunch or holiday plans? It is something to think about. Looking after these that are right outside our back door is important.

    Jesus said in the new testament, I have come that you may have life and life to the full. If you are a widow or widower, you have a God given right to live life to the full again. Starting over isn’t easy but God is right there with us to help and guide. I haven’t done everything right, have made mistakes and have certainly had to push thru low days, but I can say God’s grace and forgiveness covers me and helps me. Most of all, He has been faithful every step of the way. Know I am praying for you.

    

     In our retirement community, we are very blessed to have plenty of opportunities to practice the heart of God to the orphans and widows that are down the street, around the corner, in places of business and church.  What about you? Look around and let’s  get busy in the mission field He has placed before us. Will you join me?

 

What Are You Wearing and Happy July 4th!

Happy July 4th! Celebrate Freedom!

Are You Wearing the Right Thing?

Kathleen Maxwell

June 22nd, 2012

Kerrville Daily Times

    A good friend and I were talking the other day and she asked,  “Kathleen, what are you going to wear? “  We were talking about a function we planned to attend together soon, and were working out the major details when that seemingly common question popped up. “I don’t know,” I replied, “I haven’t planned that far ahead.”  Women always ask other women that question  and I feel it is because we don’t want to wear something that is appropriate.

      Personally, I am not someone that plans far ahead. I might think about what I am going to wear for the day as I am fixing my hair and walking to my closet. 

  The day after I was asked the question, I came across a scripture that made me think about that question again. The scripture was, Colossians 3:12, which states, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity.” (NIV)  I love the fact that God thinks of everything. In his wisdom, he even instructs us about what to wear! 

     Scripture shows us that these virtues will always make us look good. Compassion, which is concern for the suffering or misfortune of others, is vital for each of us. How good are you at showing compassion to others, even those you don’t agree with? I recently had someone contact me that had lost someone they loved. There were choices in this person’s life I couldn’t agree with, but my heart went out to this individual because his heart was broken. I had a perfect opportunity to take time and show him the love of God and express concern for his suffering. I wanted to be a safe place for this young adult to express his grief. I know my own personal suffering has developed a greater compassion within me and I am much quicker to wear compassion these days.

     Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous or considerate. Did you realize when you smile, you are being kind to others? Be sure and wear your smile today and watch how it affects those around you. Smiling can actually make you look younger, so if you are middle aged, it is a must wear garment. Being generous is giving more of something than is expected or necessary. Being kind and considerate is being careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to another. I am personally going to make sure I wear this more often as I realize I sometimes forget.

     Humility is a modest view of ones own importance. Everyone looks good when they wear this character trait. Pride is a common thief that works hard to steal our humility. There is nothing wrong with a feeling of satisfaction with an accomplishment. That isn’t pride. It is an accomplishment to earn a degree, win a race, or get a promotion. Wearing humility, enables us to honor others making them feel just as valued and important even above our own accomplishment. All that we have and all that we are is because of God’s grace in our lives. Yes, our choices make a difference but for those that call on God, we must remember that it is Him that enables us. Remembering that fact helps keep me in my place. Sometimes I forget that fact and self righteousness or  pride can strip me of the garment of humility. Scripture says to humble ourselves and God will lift us up. It is up to us to put on the garment of humility.

      Gentleness is a definite fashion statement and looks good even on men. A gentle spirit disarms people. Last year, I spoke at an Annual Women’s Meeting on the subject of gentleness. Since then, I am quicker to pick that dress out more. It has saved me when I have really been tempted to give someone a peace of my mind. Gentleness is not weakness but power under control. We are actually more powerful and accomplish much more when we sensitive and kind. Jesus said, “I am gentle,” therefore, we all need to be more like him.

     Wearing patience means we are able to wait without becoming annoyed; slow to loose ones temper with irritating people. I think our patience needs to be like our jeans...pretty durable.  If we don’t get fresh patience, like fresh socks or underwear each day, we will not only smell bad around others but will actually gag ourselves with tension and anxiety. I speak from experience on this issue. I’ve heard people say not to pray for patience but I actually think we need to pray daily for a fresh supply  or we are the ones that suffer most.

     Forgiveness is like shoes. There are just somethings you have to wear to get thru the day and this is one of them. Otherwise, like patience, we are the ones that suffer. A forgiving heart is a tender heart and is the foundation for getting around well and successfully in life. There is much that can be said on this subject but forgiving others is something we do for ourselves. A person dressed in bitterness is easy to spot by the harsh words that come out of their mouth or scowl on their face. Unforgiveness is like wearing a toxic or sour garment...not good for anyone around.

     Last but not least we are admonished to always wear love. When we put love on, it ties everything together. When we do not clothe ourselves in love, it is like wearing clothes that don’t match or clash. When we wear love, we stand out in a crowd. We are dressed for success all day when we sport love. I want to be known for how well I love others. It is not on my bucket list of things to wear, it is on my must have everyday list. I’ve discovered in my own personal life, love is easier to wear when I spend more time tapping into God’s presence and spending time with Him and getting to know his nature.    

     I know there have been times I have tried on something and it just doesn’t look good on me. The color is wrong, the style is just not me, or the way it is designed or cut makes me look heavier or simply isn’t flattering on me. Why on earth would anyone want to wear something that doesn’t look good? ,I am so glad God shows us how to always be in style and looking our best. He is good and thinks of everything and is always there to help us look good when we choose what he says to wear. How are you dressed today? Will you join me make sure you are dressed right? The choice is yours and mine.

Nothing Like Vacation

Hanging out on the boat!

There is nothing like getting away and having time to relax and regroup! To celebrate Price's graduation from UT, we decided all the family would meet in Virginia at Lake Anna to enjoy some time together. Austin and Laura have rented a lake house right on the water that made for a perfect vacation spot. I don't know if it was being away from the everyday stresses or just not being on my own, but I rested so well. I slept 11 to 12 hours each night. Maybe it was because I was trying to keep up with 5 people in their 20's and 30's. I may be 52 but I am not going down easy!

Price trying to keep up with his big brother

We had ping pong tournaments, (yes Mallory beat her brothers), we watched movies, hung out at the dock,went wakeboarding and bounced on the inter-tube around the lake. We had a great time just riding around in the boat. There was plenty of competition between Austin and Price and Rob was a real trooper as he was just learning. He did quite well. Laura and Mallory were great also but somehow the girls were just not into killing ourselves. I attempted wake boarding again this year and I think I improved a little but it was not without swallowing half of the lake and feeling every muscle in my body! Oh my word...the morning after we went, I thought I would need a crane to get me out of bed! It was good exercise, I kept telling myself, but my kids were quick to point out that they didn't see any other women over 50 attempting it.

Still playing with my kids! Yes, I am the one in the middle trying to hang on!

I am grateful for this special time our family had together to regroup, laugh, and just be together. I am proud of each of my kids and their life partners. They are not perfect kids, but they have made good choices, love God with everything in them and are discovering their God given purpose. It is an honor to be chosen by God to be their mom. I know their dad would have enjoyed this trip and his kids. He should have been there but by God's grace, we have learned to live life without him. I missed having him to talk to as now it seems to be "the kids" and just me. It is always fun to see glimpses of him in each of them. His legacy continues and so does life.

More About Honor

Father's Day 2012

Have You Paid Your Debt of Honor?

Kerrville Daily Times Article

June 7th 2012

Kathleen Maxwell (C)

Last time I wrote, I wrote on the subject of honor and a number of people shared of how it spoke to them. I decided to write more on the subject as it has stayed on the forefront of my mind the past few weeks. Honor is defined as giving high regard or esteem to someone or something; a source of credit or esteem; showing worthiness; merited respect.

Romans 13:7 says, “Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect then respect; if honor, then honor.” (NIV) When I read this passage this past week, it really made me think differently about honor.
I never had thought of it as being something that I was indebted to give, but scripture makes it pretty plain that we need to give what we owe to others.

So whom do you owe honor and respect to? What people in your life, work place, church or community can you show honor to? I talked about honoring others with our words in my last article, and this is important, but there is an even better way to show honor and it is with  our actions. Isaiah 29:13 address this in a pretty direct way saying, “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” Actions speak louder than words. What are your actions showing others?  

In I Samuel 18:4, Jonathan was the son of King Saul. Jonathan was a prince, and he honored David, his friend by giving him his robe along with his tunic, bow, sword and belt. Jonathan’s actions revealed his heart and respect to someone of lower social stature. Notice the example that is set for us. The person of higher rank honored the one of lesser social status. Jonathan gave his best to raise David up and demonstrated his honor and respect for his friend. Leaders have tremendous power to raise others up. If you are in a place of leadership, you have a greater responsibility to honor others, especially those that you have the responsibility to lead. 

Do your actions honor others or dishonor them? Our actions do one or the other. Personally, I have really examined myself to look for those around me I can honor in anyway with my words as well as my actions. We need to look for how we can be generous in our giving and see it as a debt we have. Imagine if we tried to out give each other in honor. It would certainly make Kerrville a better place. I have tried in different ways this past week, from giving compliments to the clerk at the place I get iced tea to the person sitting next to me at a training. I love seeing the joy it brings to them and the smile it puts on their faces.

One reason I believe we have a hard time honoring others is that our pride gets in the way. Proverbs 15:33 says, “The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom and humility comes before honor.” In order to honor someone else with our words and actions, we must be willing to humble ourselves. We must be willing to take a step down in order to raise someone else up. Check yourself. Is it easy for your to compliment others, praise them for what they do that is good? If not, you could have a problem with pride. 

Proverbs 18:12 states, “Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud; but humility comes before honor.” Again, scripture shows us the necessity of humbling ourselves to honor others. It would do us all good to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves with pride. If there is someone in your life that it is difficult for you to compliment or be kind to, it could be your own pride in your relationship with them that is getting in the way.

You and I have tremendous power in our hands to raise those around us up to a higher place as we honor them. Let’s make a real effort to honor and bless others by being generous with honoring one another.

Bill Johnson, pastor of Bethel Church in Redding California and author of various books wanted to see God move in a greater way in his community. He states in one of his books and on YouTube how his church began to develop a culture of honor by honoring people of faith that brought great moves of God in past history. Even though many of them have been gone, he honored their families. He felt this was important as he states in his blog post Feb. 2, 2009, “Most of them died misunderstood and rejected by mainstream. Yet, they released great blessings upon the church.”  

God is sneaky sometimes, and uses the most unlikely people to accomplish his purposes. He often times uses the ordinary, not the most qualified. This is the heartbeat of the New Testament when you look at the disciples Jesus chose. Jesus, honored the ordinary and chose them. He is simply looking for those that have a heart to know him more, and a passion for others to know him too.  

Psalms 84:11 says, “...the Lord bestows favor and honor.” Psalms 8:5 talks about God’s heart for his people and says he has crowned them with glory and honor. If God Almighty can honor us, people that mess up often, we certainly have a debt to honor those around us. Will you join me in honoring those you run into today and tomorrow? They may not be perfect people, but if we simply love and honor with our actions and our words, I believe our community will receive an upgrade, a greater release of God’s power, and will be a better place. Will you join me in restoring the lost art of honor? Let’s just do it!

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, educator, writer and speaker. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God and their value. Contact her at kathleen

maxwell1@gmail.com and on her blog www.themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com

Tough week but still dancing

  Tough Week...

I love what Graham Cooke says, "There are no more good days and bad days, just days of grace." He goes on to say that sometimes we need the grace of God to get us thru the day and other times e enjoy the grace God gives to enjoy the day.
     I've had a sad thing happen in the last two weeks. Two of my CWJC graduates died suddenly. One was killed in a car accident. The other they think died of cardiac arrest.
     Clarissa Menchaca was a 30 year old mother of three boys. (center back top row)When I got the call, I was shocked but immediately felt a peace because I had had the privilege of leading her to the Lord. It was a beautiful story  and I rejoiced knowing she was with Jesus. The family called me as Clarissa they said, often talked about me and said she wanted to be just like me. I think that is one of the highest compliments I've ever gotten. I was asked to conduct the Memorial Vigil and although I had never done anything like that, I was happy to do it. I can add that to my list of "firsts."
     The other woman, Erin Dwyer was a 2006 graduate and a strong believer. She leaves 5 kids and a husband behind. Erin was active in CWJC and had sent me a Facebook message the day before she died. Her service was a sweet tribute to her life. Life is precious and we never know the opportunity we have to impact someone's life.
     Price has been home for a few weeks and it has been nice to have him around.  I think he is bored but I know he is enjoying a little easier schedule.
     Maggie, my cocker spaniel, and I were involved in the Bark For Life Cancer Fundraising event this past weekend. I know Joe would have laughed and smiled had he been around. He loved Maggie and me and would have enjoyed the array of various dogs. It made for a busy weekend and I still have to pace myself. The highlight of the weekend was going dancing and dancing with Price. I don't want a tomb stone but if I did I would want it to say, "And she danced" Hard things are a part of life but I always want to be remembered as an overcomer.
     The other night some friends invited me and my date to join them for the evening. After visiting and dancing a while, I remembered that this was the last place Joe and I had danced at a wedding reception. The good thing was it didn't sting and I was having fun with someone else. Life does go on by his marvelous grace.

     On a brighter note, Malloy's dear friend, had a baby and Mallory got to share in the event. Isila Prewett was born to Lauren and Treavor and is a beautiful baby girl. I am hoping Mallory and Rob catch the idea and make me a grandmother soon. I am ready and patiently waiting.