February 9th, 2010
Yesterday marked the 4 months since Joe has been gone. I had a good day and somehow had no tears which were surprising to me. I had to stand amazed at God and how He has held my heart when it seems in many pieces. I had a vision the other day of a shattered heart and saw God very gently putting the pieces back together. He knew where each piece went and how to make them fit. I was comforted by that. I am also amazed at all the things He has helped me get through……like the other day going to the appraisal office and presenting the death certificate and them removing Joe’s name from our home. Those things are difficult but they are reality…..slowly removing him from my life. Life is hard right now but God is good to me. For example, Joe’s dad was a CPA and Joe always did our taxes…..I just signed on the dotted line. I was concerned about how to handle something I had no idea how to handle. I never said anything to anyone but it was in the back of my mind. Then I had a local CPA offer to help me at no charge. Yea God!
This morning as I had my quite time, I felt God speak the following to me……”Experience my abundant life. I’m continuing to work behind the scenes on your behalf and I love to far exceed your expectations and dreams. Taste and see my goodness in your life.” I am hanging on to that. One of my favorite scriptures is Ephesians 3:20: “Now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above what we could ask or think.” I saw God do that at my work. Our fabulous building, walking through a building project, oh my~ In the midst of the pain, I am tasting God’s goodness. (Psalms 34:8)