An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Celebrating the Fruit of Our Labor Alone

This morning as I prayed about the day ahead there were mixed emotions. Tonight is an engagement party for Mallory and Rob. I thought of all the years that Joe and I had prepared her for this exciting time. We raised our kids to be independent and to make a difference in the Kingdom. I was sad that he wasn’t here to enjoy the fruits of his labor. But as I pondered, a song came on my IPOD and I once again felt like Joe was singing them to me and telling me to have fun for the both of us.

The Words I Would Say – Sidewalk Prophets

Three in the morning, and I’m still awake So I picked up a pen and a page And I started writing just what I’d say If we were face to face I’d tell you just what you mean to me Tell you these simple truths
CHORUS Be strong in the Lord And never give up hope You’re gonna do great things I already know God’s got His hand on You So don’t live life in fear Forgive and forget But don’t forget why you’re here Take your time and pray These are the words I would say
Last time we spoke you said you were hurting And I felt your pain in my heart I want to tell you that I keep on praying That love will find you where you are I know cause I’ve already been there So please hear these simple truths CHORUS Say… from one simple life to another I will say… come find peace in the Father Be strong in the Lord And never give up hope You’re gonna do great things I already know God’s got His hand on You So don’t live life in fear Forgive and forget But don’t forget why you’re here Take your time and pray And thank God for each day His love will find a way These are the words I would say

I know God’s hand is on me. It was a good reminder to forgive others that I have felt simply haven’t understood and have passed judgment. Most people have no idea how difficult the past 7 years of watching 2 people I love slip away and suffer while working a job in social work. It has challenged me to the core but has made me who I am. And I love the words to not forget why I am here. God’s plans for my life are not in jeopardy and I am not a second class citizen because I am single…..yes I am quickly figuring out it is a coupled world. I will accomplish all that is in His heart for me. The last time Joe and I spoke my heart was hurting…he knew me well…and we had those tough conversations about me going on and finding love again. It was hard for him to speak those words because of his love for me. So I will be strong in the Lord and never give up hope and I will not live my life in fear.

I must keep walking on letting go of the past and reaching for the future that is mine full of new dreams

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