An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Monday, July 5, 2010

Letting Go of the Way it is Suppose to Be

July 5th, 2010 – 11,393

I have had a good few days, weekend and July 4th holiday. Mallory and I went shopping for wedding things, things for her honeymoon, etc. I have forgotten how many little details there are with a wedding and Mal and I have had fun. I love my relationship with my daughter. It is wonderful and I am thankful. On Saturday I went on a 7 mile walk with a friend. It has been an intense discipline balancing all of this…wedding, working, grieving, having fun (I went to swing dance classes last week and had a blast dancing) and exercising to deal with the stress and to feel better. I do feel like I am getting closer to feeling like myself again. It sure has taken a long time.

Something exciting that has happened is that I submitted 3 stories to a publishing company that wanted short stories about walking thru cancer as a caregiver or patient. I found out this week they are going to publish all three stories and they will be released in October. They also encouraged me in writing a book after they read my blog. We will see where all this goes but it is encouraging.

On July 4th Mallory, Price and Rob were home so I made BBQ ribs and homemade ice cream. It is one of our favorite July 4th / summer meals. We had fun although I missed Joe. We all hopped in the car and went to the fireworks at the city park. Price drove all of us in my convertible playing rap music….once again I wondered about my life but really enjoyed my kids. It is fun seeing them as adults and hearing their viewpoints on life.

Today I saw where I needed to let go of “the way it is suppose to be.” As I have looked ahead to the wedding in a few days as well as another area of my life, I realized that was the next thing I needed to release. Often times we get it in our heads about how we think things should be and when it isn’t that way we get disappointed. Who says it is suppose to be a certain way? Who are we to think we should have a certain life? I am also learning to ask God more and more to adjust my perception of things. After releasing the way it is “suppose to be” I quickly began to see the many blessings in my life that I have experienced.

OK….wedding count down! It is not long now! Thanks so much to all of you that have been praying for all of us. We would be in a desperate place without all the prayers and love.

Experiencing His grace and love,

Kathleen

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