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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Truth and Love

July 22, 2010

I returned from my trip to California at 3:oo am on Wednesday morning. Our plane had to make an emergency landing due to a medical emergency. The lady was sitting next to me when she began to faint. They called for anyone with medical experience. I thought of raising my hand since I had numerous hours in hospitals and doctors offices. Instead I chose to simply pray for the woman and try to comfort her. Another divine appointment…

My trip was a lot of fun and gave me a good break getting away from work and life in Kerrville. The trip was a gift from a friend and was a wonderful blessing. I was able to hike, see San Francisco and rest some. God continues to provide the things I need.

My father had knee surgery on Monday and when I returned I immediately had to help my sister with my parents. With both of them needing an advocate we were pretty busy. We have had to move my mom to a care facility River Hill Rehab and dad is at Sid Peterson. It has been crazy for the past few days….I am still not sure why my life revolves around hospitals and doctors in this season of my life. Today I had to take my mom to the doctor and then go to the hospital to assist my dad with some things. In the nine months Joe has been gone mom and dad have had 5 hospital stays…Didn’t I live in hospitals last year?

I had a dream when I was in California. In the dream Joe was helping me get a rocking chair out of the garage. I was talking to him about getting it ready. I discussed with him having a friend help me recover it. As I pondered the dream and prayed about it I felt like the situation with Joe is/has prepared me for a new life. But I am still in the preparation time for this new life. I don’t have a rocking chair in my house but used one with all my babies. My new life is coming…I am still preparing for it. I also felt like I heard God speak “wait” while I was on my trip. So I will continue to heal, prepare and wait for the unknown…so much has happened in nine months and yet it only seems like yesterday at other times. I am still trying to figure out how to spell “single” much less live it! I have enjoyed several dates but am not ready for another relationship.

Psalms 4o:11 really spoke to me the other day. “may your love and truth always protect me.” Wow! I have never read that before. His incredible love has given me a confidence to walk in many unknown situations fully confidant in Him and unafraid. Sometimes I remind myself that the worst that could happen is I could die and be with Jesus and Joe and how bad could that be? In times when I feel weak in situations I remind myself I have watched tumors grow and suddenly the problem seems small and I know God will show me the way. He consistently reveals truth in situations that I question…the key is simply asking and waiting on Him to reveal truth and not to move unless I feel peace in a situation. Praying for truth to be revealed is a prayer that never fails. So I will continue to daily ask for a fresh revelation of His love and for Him to reveal truth to me.

Preparing and waiting for new life-


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