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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Things I miss

I am still singing but some days are harder than others. Tuesday was a hard day. I missed little things, like Joe's emails...he would usually email me several times a day to check on me or update me on how he was hit me that I would never get another email from him...stuff I know but grief reminds you this is real. Then I got a letter from the Social Security Office that stated answers to questions I had answered the other day and their statements....."Joseph Edwin Maxwell was married to Mary Kathleen Jones August 4th, 1979 in Kerr County. This marriage ended October 8, 2009 by death." I know I am not married anymore because he is gone....but there was something about them saying..."this marriage ended." Then there was the little 84 year old lady I ran into that said, "You are in the same boat I am in, my husband died in August." Am I in her boat??? I don't know about that.....then there was the 25 year old that asked if I had a boyfriend yet???? It has only been 7 weeks! Do people do that? I just need to breathe and rest is my thought for the day...............
On the other side, God has been so good to me. I daily have challanges but I feel His comfort and love. The thing I miss the most right now is having someone to download with each day. Joe was my sounding board and he was a good listener. I miss telling him about my day. I miss his kiss in the morning and in the evening.... The blessing today was someone told me that a portion of our caringbridge was mentioned at Oakhills Church (Max Lucado's church) on Sunday and our website posted. It was in the context of an inspirational story....amazing. That is a big church!

Instructions for my generation:

To make this website a bookmark:

1. Go to the website:
2. When you are on the page, click the “Favorites” pull down bar at the top left of your screen.
3. You will see “Add to Favorites.”
4. Click on that and in the “Name” box you can type what you want this page to be called. I just left it as “The Maxwell Minutes.”
5. Click “OK.”
6. Whenever you want to open up the website, just open up a new browser page. Go to “Favorites” and click on the website. It should take you directly to the site.

1. Go to the website:
2. When you are on the page, click on the “Bookmarks” pull down bar.
3. Click on “Add a Bookmark,” and type the name of the blog.
4. Click on “Add” and it should appear in your bookmarks section.

To comment on a post:

Just as in Caring Bridge, you have to make a profile. Again, it takes a minute or two and you are set. You only have to do it once and then you can comment whenever you want to. Here are the steps.

1. Go to the website:
2. At the bottom of each post, you will see some grey words, “Posted by Kathleen at _____,” and then you will see “Comments.”
2. Click on the “Comments” link and it will take you to a screen that shows other’s comments for that post.
3. If you scroll all the way to the bottom, you will see a box that says “Post a Comment.” Type your comment in the box.
4. When you finish typing your comment, underneath that box is a pull down menu under the title of “Comment As.” Click on the pull down menu and choose “Google Account.”
5. Then click the “Post Comment” button underneath that.
6. If you already have a Google Account (if you use gmail or you have made a profile before) you can log in. When you post a comment to one of the posts, the post will have your name at the bottom of it. If you don’t already have a profile, you need to click on “Create a profile” that is in the log-in box. This will take you to an information page. Fill out your information. Follow directions on the information pages, and you should be all set with your profile!
7. The next time you pull up the blog website, there is a link in the right hand corner that says “Sign In.” Each time you want to post a comment, you can sign in.

Breathing and trying to take steps,



  1. The one who asked if you had a boyfriend yet doesn't understand the depth of a relationship that can only be bridged by the warmth of Christ! Good grief! (no pun intended) Kathleen, you aren't in anyone else's boat because no one has walked in the shoes you have walked in, or the path you've been on, or with the guidance and hope you have had and continue to have. Everyone is unique in that way. But I suppose she was trying to let you know in HER way that you are not alone. And truly none of us are alone when He is our husband, and father, and brother, Comforter, Healer, Physician ..... But all of us who care about you want you to know that while you are loved by Him, and are still loved by Joe, we love you too! Sisters in Christ, Celia

  2. O Kathleen if only any of us could be your download, but I suppose it would only be second best to Joe and God. How utterly and completelly you must rely on Him to supply your ever need is such a testimony of your faith and what a faith builder for all of us. Thanks for your transparency through this time in your life. I know it is blessing and helping others going through the same thing. And in a sense aren't we all in this boat together helping each other when one gets tired of rowing, picking up the slack when hands get blistered, and brows get sweaty. Jesus is at the helm, God at the rudder, Holy Spirit is the wind that pushes us through and all of us are rowing our way through life knowing they are on board making our way back home. Amen!
    love you sweet friend,