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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy 2012

Tammy helping me celebrate my birthday
Happy 2012 to everyone! As I reflect on the past year, I have to smile at God's goodness in the midsts of the hardest year I have faced. I remember at the beginning of 2011 I felt God told me he would sustain me this year. Sustain means to "keep up, to maintain, to prolong." God promises to sustain the fatherless and the widows and I clung to that fact.  Somehow and someway God has sustained me. I am thankful. 2011 started with me being wiped out from numerous hospitalizations (nine to be exact) with my parents. I was exhausted and not sure how I would keep going. I am thankful for good friends that helped cheer me on and love me thru this year.
Christmas 2011

A highlight of 2011 - UT Football with Price
Brad McCullough for 198 District Attorney
     Change, pain, and determination are three words that describe 2011 for me. I also have to say growth, new adventures and comfortable in my skin describe the past year. There is a strong determination in me to grow in each change and with each painful thing I had to embrace. I am determined to grow in the hardships of my life. This takes lots of energy but it is worth it. I hate to waste trials and disappointments. I have learned more about who I am as a single woman standing all alone in my life. I know who I am, I know where I am going, I just don't know how I will get there. There is a new security  in me. I have learned to step out and try things I never thought of like politics, writing for the newspaper and a new job.
Love my girl!
     Most of all, I have discovered who I am without a husband or my kids. My kids are all grown now with their own lives. Joe and I raised them to be independent and they are. Sure there are things I want to change about me but I like how God made me and am secure in my identity and love discovering more about who I am. I believe the more you love who you are, the more you can love others around you. Far too many people don't like or love themselves and therefore have difficulty loving others.
      Although 2011 was very challenging and painful for me, there were many things that made me smile. I was able to travel some, I have loved the freedom in my life and the new friends I have made. God has brought new and different people into my life and I love the diversity. I have had a few dates during the holidays and that has made life interesting! My life certainly is not what I expected it to be at this time in my life but it is my life and I have learned to hold His hand and keep walking.

Tired of taking pictures
Holding a friend's baby! A little miracle! Baby Brayden


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