I woke up this morning after a dream. I decided to write it down and then began to journal. As I reflect on my life, most of the fun times I have had Joe has been a part of them. The one I have had the most fun with in life was Joe. We have shared a lot of fun memories. If something isn't fun, I look for a way to make it fun. It is part of overcoming to me and if Joe wasn't with me, I couldn't wait to tell him. We shared fun. It hit me as I journaled that I needed to let go of associating fun with Joe and sharing it with him....those days on earth are over...ouch......it was difficult and tearful but after writing him a letter and letting go and releasing it,, I felt so much better. I also felt like the Lord showed me that I have had to contend for fun and joy as I have had to walk through some very difficult situations. But in the contending I have learned much about walking with God and learned how to have fun, even on hard days. I know there are lots of fun days ahead for me because I know God. He is good and walking with Him is fun, not boring. Part of my life I can say was not that much fun walking with God and it was because I put Him in a box and my walk was more religious instead of relationship driven. Just as I want my kids to have fun in life, I feel God is the same way with us, his kids.
So......I am letting go again and letting go of 49 and on to "fabulous 50" not "frumpy 50."