An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Letting go again

I woke up this morning after a dream. I decided to write it down and then began to journal. As I reflect on my life, most of the fun times I have had Joe has been a part of them. The one I have had the most fun with in life was Joe. We have shared a lot of fun memories. If something isn't fun, I look for a way to make it fun. It is part of overcoming to me and if Joe wasn't with me, I couldn't wait to tell him. We shared fun. It hit me as I journaled that I needed to let go of associating fun with Joe and sharing it with him....those days on earth are was difficult and tearful but after writing him a letter and letting go and releasing it,, I felt so much better. I also felt like the Lord showed me that I have had to contend for fun and joy as I have had to walk through some very difficult situations. But in the contending I have learned much about walking with God and learned how to have fun, even on hard days. I know there are lots of fun days ahead for me because I know God. He is good and walking with Him is fun, not boring. Part of my life I can say was not that much fun walking with God and it was because I put Him in a box and my walk was more religious instead of relationship driven. Just as I want my kids to have fun in life, I feel God is the same way with us, his kids.
So......I am letting go again and letting go of 49 and on to "fabulous 50" not "frumpy 50."



  1. .... and welcome in your year of Jubilee!

  2. Happy Birthday! You are absolutely beautiful inside-and-out.