As I reflect on the last few days, I feel I am making some progress....slow but sure. I have learned that living alone I only run the dishwasher two times a week, only fill up one trash can a week and have also learned how to build a fire in the fire place and clean out the ashes......where is Joe when I need him??? I have to do the honey do list now! Living alone has kept me pretty busy as I have had to learn to do things that he always did....but I am leaning.....boy am I learning! I am also learning not to push myself, listen to the Holy Spirit, and pace myself.
Although starting a new life at 50 does sound overwhelming I am reminded of I John 4 "Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world. Because he is, so are we." The power to overcome is greater than anything I face. The power to overcome resides in us when we know the Lord. Personally I don't think many of us know the power of God that is in us and tap into it as we should. So how do we overcome? For me I think one of the first steps is acceptance of things but taking it to the Lord for truth and healing. I know many people that are in denial of situations and that keeps one stuck. As I take things to God, call it like it is, it is in that place I find clear focus and healing. As I was making eggs this weekend, I glanced down at my hand and saw my wedding ring. Tears filled my eyes as I wondered how long I would wear this ring. I liked being married. I liked being a couple. I love my wedding ring. I have to embrace the reality and keep my heart open to the Lord for healing. And He longs to help me overcome in the grief and heal me. The truth is God is good, change is good.....it just doesn't always feel like it. He promises to work all things together for our good when we love him.