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An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Friday, January 29, 2010

And it is ok.....

January 29, 2010

The past two weeks, I have worn my wedding ring some days but for the most part, have not worn it. I am accepting that I am not married any more…….a hard pill to swallow but I am swallowing it….but today I wore my ring as I was going to a memorial service that Sid Peterson Hospice had for those that had passed away this past year. It was at First Presbyterian Church, the church Joe and I married in. As I sat there, it dawned on me that this is where we began our lives together. It is also where Austin married so there were many good memories at this church…….and now I was here honoring those memories we shared together….except I was alone. It was the place our covenant relationship began. As I looked at my wedding ring, I was reminded of our vows….”till death do us part.” As they called Joe’s name, I felt I was to slip the ring off. It seemed that since this was the place I put on a wedding ring, it was the place to take it off…..and it was ok. As I left the church, I had the picture I took to display that was of Joe and me at our 25th anniversary. A Hospice representative handed me some flowers…..I reflected of how I left this church 30 years ago with Joe on one hand, a ring, and flowers in my other hand… I was leaving alone, a picture and years and years of memories of Joe, no ring on my hand and flowers ………..tears streamed down my face but…. it was ok. I felt the Lord holding my heart. I got in car and the first words of the song on the radio were”your new life has begun” I knew God was encouraging my heart……and it was going to be ok……



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