An Honest Account of Love, Grief and Walking With God
Finding God's Goodness in Life's Disappointments

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Laughing Again


April 4, 2010

As I sit in my quite house, I am filled with great memories of this Easter weekend. Price arrived late Thursday night and it was wonderful to have him home. My sister and her family arrived Friday afternoon and I had a blast taking my nephews for rides in my convertible and a good chance to visit with her and my brother-in-law and play with the boys. Saturday Price, Mallory and Rob ran in the Easter Run and Mallory won second place…..this has been a family tradition for years but I decided to just cheer this year. We had a fun family dinner at my house and it was the first time I have entertained in over a year….just not enough energy. Cancer, care giving and grief have zapped me of doing much of anything extra. I had one melt down moment as I was working in my kitchen and thinking of all the times Joe and I had prepared together for family get together…..about that time, Rob, my future son-in-law came around the corner and wrapped his arms around me and gave me the biggest bear hug and let me cry. I needed that. This morning we had our traditional Easter egg hunt (now the kids want money in the eggs and it is a fierce competition)……Rob won the most money, Price collected the most eggs and I enjoyed watching them have fun……life goes on……..
We had a great time at church and then in worship we sang a song that was a theme song during Joe’s illness, Mighty to Save. Tears rolled down my cheeks but I was able to sing this song with authority as this song is still carrying us through as we heal. We had dinner with a bunch of friend and it was a lot of fun…..A different holiday but a fun one and one filled with laughter. I had to wonder today what Easter was like in heaven…….it must be wonderful…..I can only imagine.
It is a new beginning for all of us. We have hope, a future and because Jesus conquered the grave we can have healing in our hearts. I have felt the Lord say, “You have permission to have fun.” I plan on it……and have begun to dream again….

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